First Day

I just wanted to do a quick post on my first day of rehearsal!

I was nervous yesterday. NERRRRRVOUS. But of course everyone was very nice and professional and lovely and it was amazing to see my name on a dressing room door, and to get measured for costumes and to realize that I might have an appointment with THE WIG DEPARTMENT(!) and about a hundred more things that were new and exciting!

It was also intimidating. I mean, these people were PREPARED beyond anything I've experienced in a while. And I remembered how much work this is, and how much of yourself you have to give and how much courage it takes to do this work. And no, it's not curing cancer or fighting wars, but it's important--and, I realized, where I feel at home. Well, maybe a haunted home because it was so scary as well.

I keep finding myself going back over--did I say enough? Did I say the wrong thing when I did talk? My reflex in new situations is often to just listen and learn as much as possible... which can backfire in that people think I'm incredibly shy or that I have nothing to say. I tried to analyze everything, really--and right now I'm working on giving myself a break because IT'S MY FIRST DAY AT A NEW THING.

It was also very interesting to hang out with people who are bona fide professional actors--as in , actors without a joe job, who pretty much make their entire living from it. They didn't seem to have any of the apologetic "Well, I also do this art thing" that I catch in myself or in some of my friends. They may very wel be insecure about themselves, or their talent, or other things, but they were very confident on the point of "Yes, I am an artist. And?" No apology needed. No question that I would believe them. And no question that they believed that I am an artist too, since I was right there at the table with them.

I have a costume fitting tomorrow, and then I don't return to the rehearsal hall for another couple of weeks.

Which I'm already looking forward to!