Saturday, December 29, 2007

hello, 2008

well, it's been a year of neglect on the blog front. but i had a novel thought: new year, new resolutions to improve myself. perhaps it isn't a novel thought at all, but i thought i'd jot down a few things i want to accomplish this year:

1. go veg for the month of january, and then see where it leads
2. finish my current plays, specifically The Laws of Thermodynamics
3. start some new plays, make good use of my big fat grant
4. get an agent. do some film/tv work.
5. lose 40 lbs. yikes. it would be nice to have a year that this wasn't on the list.
6. schedule time to write on a regular basis, then follow up
7. work out 6 days a week. mix it up.
8. build and use my idea machine. more on this to follow.
9. BLOG. on a regular basis.
10. do a show of my own.
11. look into musical opportunities and be brave about it.
12. get my etsy store up and running

twelve months, twelve resolutions.

Monday, November 05, 2007

so they say, anway

i read this weekend that people with a lot of unfinished projects are holding onto the past in some subconscious way. naturally, i read this upon googling "how to finish what you start" or something like that, finishing things being a concern as of late. i have a pile of knitting done all but for the blocking, a cardigan that's complete but in pieces, scripts lying around in various states of unfinishedness, and yet, i can't help but look eagerly for new things to start. all the while skipping the last essential step to all other projects. am i holding onto the past? perhaps it's more accurate to say i'm resisting the future a little.
i've never been a terribly adventurous person. another google search (i firmly believe that google searches can solve all personal problems) led me to an article in which the writer was taking an improv class. the article stated that people are of two types: those who are most likely to say "yes" and those who are most likely to say "no". i find myself slipping into the latter category as of late, although the article assured me that folks of either type can be taught to do the opposite of their inclination. it didn't mention if improv classes were necessary.
of course, i realize that the only way to put these things behind me is to finish them once and for all, however they turn out, and then move on to exciting new projects in the future.
the problem is, the finishing is so BORING, sometimes. the idea is the exciting bit. unfortunately, i carry the guilt of not finishing until i man up and do it.
guess what i'm doing when i get home tonight?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

continuing to give teh poops

yesterday involved some scary phone call making (i have terrible phone phobia at times, in fact, i am often content to just not answer and pretend not to be home) and some scarier email sending. none of which should truly be scary, but i have grown complacent and afraid of change. but i am crossing things off of the ever-present list, which is good. now most of the things left involve writing of some sort, which is, of course, the easiest thing to procrastinate. i find the secret of a good to-do list is to include some fun things that you don't need to be reminded to do, or things that would make you happy to check off (for example, making cookies is a great thing to "have" to do). the trick is to make sure you don't do all the fun stuff first.
in other news, i am disappointed in the safeway near our house. true, the grocery carts are only $0.25, but they have a distinct lack of ingredients i am looking for. soy cheese? no way! nori sheets? take a hike! tahini? shut the front door!
i'm looking forward to going back to save-on tomorrow to pick up the rest of dinners for the week.
and, 'tis the season for fringe to begin again... after this year's debacle, it will be interesting to see if the major players put their money where their mouths were this summer. what will happen if people just refuse to put shows in? or if the much-lauded "alternative to the alternative" actually happens? should i put in for edmonton? should i just try for saskatoon and winnipeg? and finish off with a lazy weekend in athabasca or somewhere? should i treat edmonton like so much tahini and tell it to bug off?

Sunday, September 30, 2007

long time no post!

i'll be honest, i am only posting because i made a to-do list for this week and vowed to myself that i would post on my blog again. i'm going to try and be more faithful to posting. and posting pics. it should be easier now, i'm only working half-days at my crappy job, and i should have lots of time to muse on teh internetz. of course, i should be spending that time writing, or pursuing other things that will make me money and still allow me to remain independent. so as of late, i've been picking up little writing gigs, typing gigs, pretending to be sick for student doctor gigs. hopefully all the money will add up.
of course, i'm sure no one is still reading this.
i pledge to be better in the future!
wait, that sounds awfully familiar...

Thursday, June 14, 2007

so how's it going?

am i actually giving a shit these days?
well, yes and no.
at my day job, i got a whole bunch of new responsibilites, which is stressing me out to no end. basically, things they said i wouldn't have to deal with during the first year of training (!) are all being piled on my desk right NOW. i've developed a charming little eyelash twitch that i can only attribute to stress. so when i go home, i basically just want to crash and be brainless. not the optimum writing mentality. i do get some stuff done, and i'm knitting my piece for the knitting show (which hopefully we will hear back about soon). but it's been rough going so far. i've decided to try and use my lunch hours to do some writing, not only to make my deadline, but also to make use of when i still have reasonable brain function during the day.
other than that, things are per normal around here. getting settled into the new house, still having to unpack the scores of books. i haven't even unpacked my cookbooks yet, leaving dinners around here to be pretty boring. i'm hoping this weekend to get some of that taken care of. i always work better in an organized environment.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Dear Global Morning News

Just to let you know, although it may be the Dalai Lama's birthday, he has probably heard the "Hello Dalai" joke. also, he is more than "Richard Gere's best friend". But I don't mean in a "more than friends" way, like your mention of Sarah Bernhard's theatrical pursuits.
Keep up the great editorializing of the news,


Monday, June 04, 2007

whining on monday morning

i refuse to become unmotivated, but it is hard not to lapse into laziness. perhaps because it's monday, perhaps it's because i got bitten on the face by a huge mosquito this morning on my way to work. maybe it's just that everything is so hot and muggy and gross here and no thunderstorms are in sight.
i know i've written about this before, but every so often, i get tired of the whole social-friendy-friend game. realizing that i have a lingering insecurity from a childhood of nerdiness and outcastation, i find myself wondering how many friends i really have.
not that it's a numbers thing or anything. and i don't know if it's unique to the theatre community. but it seems more than other social groupings to have a huge element of clique-ness about it. i know, quelle surprise. or maybe everyone else is best friends with each other but me. could that be it?
i mean, it's not even about how many friends i have. because i have some great friends, a small circle, and that's how i like it. but every so often i think to myself "i really need to be more social", and i try reaching out to people, and am met sometimes with politeness, often with vagueness or nothing at all.
is it wrong, since i'm trying to not care what people think of me, to wonder if people think of me at all? is this just ego-driven spiral into madness?
i mean, i know a fair number of people. i think most of them like me. but i don't think most of them know (or are terribly interested) in what's going on in my life. they wouldn't help me move. or come trim my christmas tree. or visit me in the hospital. or come to me for help in any way.or any number of activities that constitute friendship.
i shouldn't focus on the unfulfilling superficialities. like i said, i have great friends. but i was kind of hoping social games like that would end with high school. now i see it was just a kind of training ground for the rest of life.

Friday, June 01, 2007

the official kickoff!

yes, here i am, really and truly giving a shit about things. i kicked off the year last night by at the very last moment deciding to finish writing and actually submit the dramatic monologue i was piddling with for the alberta anthology competition for cbc. perhaps it will mean an additional $500 and a radio credit, but for now it means i finished something to deadline and sent it to someone to read.
today's project involves some work on my headshot and resume, and sending it off to some people for their files. not exactly stressful, but a good start.
this month's projects include:

*finishing act one of my play for the reading at the end of the month
*doing a synopsis and 15 page script excerpt for the Petro-Can Stage One Series
*going back to the gym
*eating more fruit and vegetables
*trying to grow out my nails
*submitting resume and scripts to folks

and, as always, writing makes it to the top of the list of things i have to do this month. although it really should be things i WILL do this month.

i am so jealous. my sister went to portland for her honeymoon and they got to go to Voodoo Doughnuts.
so jealous!

Friday, May 25, 2007


I realize that I've been neglecting my blog for a long, long time. No more funny pictures, none of the witty quips we've all come to expect from teh internets.
But the truth is, I've been feeling ambivalent. Unaccomplished, even. Creatively frustrated. And it makes the mind wander. It also makes the mind wonder "Is this what I should be doing?" Or "What if I actually suck, even though I'm pretty sure I don't, but what if I suck more in the future and I've actually hit my peak right now and am doing nothing about it?"
And the like. It's the kind of thinking that really makes you want to poop or get off the pot. And boy, do I want to poop! Well, metaphorically speaking, that is.
I realize that I will be starting things right away, but for recording purposes, let June 1, 2007 to May 31, 2008 be forever reknowned as THE YEAR I ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.
That's right, I'm going to test this theory of mine. That being, if one is content to sit around and bitch about what everyone else is doing, pretending it doesn't matter, it's relatively easy to fall into inertia and let life (and its ensuing opportunities) pass on by. But I wonder, what would happen if I really, really tried? Like, if this year was a big game of "Yes, let's!" So no more mooning over things I wish I could do. The simpler and more direct solution is to just do things.

So now I've written it down. Ergo, I have to do it, right? A one-year commitment to really, really trying and working hard. At my career, creative things, just life in general. No more of this half-assing and bitching and moaning. Perhaps I will have more adventures and be less wallflower-y. Perhaps it will jumpstart great things for me. Perhaps I will realize that this was a horrible idea and decide to go to law school in a year. Who knows?

Please join me in welcoming THE YEAR I ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT.

I like that it being in June nicely bookends the year with my birthday, too.

Friday, April 27, 2007

home, sweet home

well, not quite.
there is much unpacking left to do. and, in spite returning to the old place this morning to scrape revolting gunk off of the stove burners (not to mention a strange encrusted ectoplasm on the bottom of the spice cabinet), a shortage of paper towels has caused me to decide to return tomorrow to finish up washing the floors. note to self: do a massive clean more often than once a year in new house.
but, i am quite proud for FINALLY figuring out what was up with the internet connection. so now i'm happily sitting in front of the tv, perusing Crackbook.
hopefully this will mean more frequent updates. but i always say that, don't i?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

maybe it's just me...

but is it possible that school shootings might at least be discouraged if the perpetrators weren't quite so glorified in the media? i mean, this morning the headlines about the VA Tech shootings read "Satan's Manifesto" and "Portrait of a Killer". plus CNN and everyone else is showing clips of this guy's press kit 29 hours a day.
i can't help feeling that this is giving him exactly what he wanted. a way to be famous (well, infamous), and go out in a blaze of glory and have everyone talking about him for days on end. picture flashed on the news, on the front of the newspaper, and i'm sure on a whole lot of magazine covers next week.
wouldn't it be great if we didn't glorify stuff like this. or instead of reporting things that sound like movie titles, if Dateline opened with:
"I'm Stone Phillips, and tonight we are profiling the ultimate douchebag..."
or for a magazine article:
"Small-dicked guy proves himself to be total tool."
i know it won't happen.
but i really think that we shouldn't show any pictures of this guy. or anyone like him. why make him famous? screw people's "curiosity".
and don't even get me started on how "artistic" is becoming the new trenchcoat mafia.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

5 calls and counting

all to move my telephone.
so far, they have done the wrong thing, corrected it for the wrong date, and now are insistent on moving my phone on friday, despite that i keep asking for monday. the first girl who called me back assured me that they were "putting a rush" on it to be moved friday. then, the guy i spoke with last said he would "try" to move it for monday instead, and that he'd let whoever was in charge of correcting such things know that it was "kind of a hurry thing" that it be changed from friday to monday.

i can't quite believe i used to work for these people.
also, what i would have done would have been to cancel the whole order and reissue it correctly. hence the customer not having to call back 234 times.
fortunately, this has decided me-- i am keeping my isp the same after i move and not changing to the evil Smelus.

as far as the move goes, i can't quite believe it's coming up on saturday. instead of being at work, i would rather be home having 3,465 panic attacks about moving. but instead i must wait out my time here and then go home and pack.

i am going crazy at my job. if the lady sitting next to me says "aw, shoot" or "aw,shucks" one more time, i may scream.
tomorrow i will try and keep a count of these utterances, just so you can all imagine what it's like to work here.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

what a terrible blogger am i!

it's really true.
at the moment, i am working. packing. cleaning. getting ready to move into a new house soon, with all the fun that entails.
i am being boring. and fooling around instead of writing.
fear not, change is on the way.
also, i'm looking for a new email addy, since i'm dumping my current isp at the end of the month.
but all the good ones are taken!
any suggestions for snazzy new nicks will be welcomed.
anyway, back to the grind, and then it's back to the dentist to let him grind my teeth.
i will post more frequently, more amusingly.
when i'm not on facebook.
this is my resolution to you, the internetz!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

excerpts of a conversation between two guys on my bus, who i later discovered live in my building

"you know what it should be called--it should be called the Institute for Wild Pasts and Morally Reprehensible Decisions"

"That's where your drunk friend comes in."

"And then dude bites me on the shoulderblade."

"It's not like we're in officially committed relationships. Not really."

"So... do we shake it or glaze it?"

Friday, February 09, 2007

how to get paid without really trying

i work in an office. that's probably enough said right there. but let me continue. i do payroll. i get a lot of comments on how i'm really quiet, and how i'm "so relaxed". i think this is in reference to the fact that people keep coming up to me and saying "do you want some more time sheets to enter?", and i always say "yeah, sure." i mean, face it: this job is an endless stream of incoming paper to process. there will always be more. even when we finish this week's cheques, more will come in next week. so of course i'm going to say "yeah, sure." it gives me something to do.
besides, i'm nosey. you can speculate a lot about how peoples' lives are going by their time sheets. so there i sit, mindlessly typing and making up stories about people i don't know based on how many dentist's appointments they had last month.
it's a living.
we have special leave for going to a funeral, and when people use this code, they always have to make a note about why they left. not in terms of why they chose to go to that particular funeral (thought that might make even more interesting speculation), but who the funeral was for. usually, anyway. today i ran into a spate of folks who put the time they left, and in brackets, "(mourner)". like there's a lot of different roles they could be playing at the funeral. i suppose they could put "minister" or "eulogist" or even "caterer". but "mourner"? i mean, i assume if you're going to the funeral, you qualify as a mourner. there's really only two classifications here: "mourner", and "the departed". i haven't seen anyone put that in yet.
imagine, getting paid for being at your own funeral?
that's the life for me.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

an update

well, the job is pretty much what i expected-- very, very boring and mathematical. i finally decided to stick it out, with the hopes of getting my student loan under $5000 by the end of the year, and my credit card paid off to boot. it's going to be a very lean year for me.
writing is... research at the moment. i'm trying to stay away from very mathematical books, since i'm not writing a treatise on quantum physics here, just trying to get some ideas and inspiration so i know what i'm talking about. already, people think i'm a bit strange at work for spending my lunch hour reading "the universe next door". perhaps i should have started with "physics for dummies" (don't laugh, it's sitting on my coffee table even now).
the good thing is that work is educational! for example, i learned about the titanic today.
a woman who sits across from me is fascinated by the titanic. she was talking about this, and the woman next to her says "i remember a line from a movie... 'this boat is so incredible that not even god himself could sink it'... some people believe that's the REAL reason the titanic sank."
and all this time i thought it was an iceberg. but apparently god took up the challenge and drove that thing to the bottom of the ocean. of course, i suppose god could be working through icebergs.
perhaps tomorrow i'll mention how fascinated i am by dinosaurs and see what kind of response i get.

Sunday, January 28, 2007


a wise, wise friend of mine recently told me "just figure out what you want, specifically, and line up things in your life to get there."
so i suppose i am making progress towards those ends...
yes, 4 to 6pm today is my writing time. i decided before i got out of bed that i was just going to write a scene and see what happens. an experiment, if you will. that, and i won't have to give up any precious sunday evening cartoons while fretting about not having written enough yet.
also, i bought some lunch things for work this week. (i can't believe i am working starting tomorrow). salad, whole wheat turkey/cream cheese wraps and carrot sticks. and healthy granola bars. of course, i may not be able to eat them with my bento's chopsticks, but that's beside the point.
plus, i even bought myself some work clothes.
less progress in the smoking department, but i have managed to cut down quite a bit.
also, i have an idea that could have improved snakes on a plane immeasurably. it could have been done with the same script, same everything (well, i would have preferred fewer CGI snakes), but it would have been awesome to have the various people who were attacked and instantly died (how fun would it have been to shoot people's death-by-snake scenes day after day?) to be celebrity cameos. like, we suddenly realize that the person with a snake sticking out of their EYE is BETTY WHITE! or LIZA MINELLI! but then we never see them again. that would truly have been awesome.
and, please stop watching Masters of Horror, until they start making good ones again. i actually have an idea for one, but it must remain secret...

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

a day of being a grownup

today was a day of taking care of things that i prefer to push aside. i don't know if it's this %$#& insomnia, or if it's the state of hanging out at home all day, but i've been slightly grumpy. smoking again. biting my nails down to the quick. procrastinating. not picking up the Standard British Dialect cd waiting for me at the library. (hey, maybe my new hobby could be learning various accents! hello one woman show on the complete history of europe!)
so today, i sucked it up. called the job i was unsure about, and told them i'd accept. so i can look forward to 10 months of mind-numbing data entry and payroll files. but on the plus side, i will have money. and we can find a new, cheaper apartment. and i can pay my credit card and my student loan. and perhaps save to do a play of my very own next fall, screw people if they don't come. so these are all good things.
i am going to stop buying cigarettes after i finish this pack. made harder by the fact that j is still smoking, but a giant bag of lollipops costs less than cigarettes. and the money i save from cigarettes, i can plow into singing lessons and student loan payments equally. multitasking and goal accomplishment!
the other bonus of the job is it seems i will have BENEFITS. say it with me, folks. really roll your tongue around it. luxuriate in it. BEEEEEENNNNNNNEEEEFFFFFIIIITTTTSSSSSS. and those will pay for the dentist appointment i finally made today. and as stressed as i am about going to the dentist, it can be in no way as stressful as making the appointment. not due to anxiety, just being put on hold by various receptionists searching for an appointment before may 4.
and i'm going to get my hair cut and coloured tomorrow. perhaps i will buy some grown-up work clothes on thursday. and then, on monday, i begin work again.
it's a little hard to jump back in feet first to the land of grown-ups. but i have my $115 cell phone bill to propel me.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

everyone go do this now

seriously. you need to drop what you're doing and head to the 7-11 or any groceteria nearby and pick up some ingredients:
phyllo pastry - $2 or so will buy you endless possibilities of yummy, flaky desserts
2 bananas - this will count as a fruit serving
peanut butter - this is the protein portion of your meal
chocolate chips - i bought milk chocolate, so i count it as dairy. if you buy dark chocolate, console yourself with the thought of all those lovely antioxidants.

preheat your oven to 425F. get 3 or 4 sheets of phyllo, and brush each one with melted butter/margarine. spread the bananas generously with peanut butter. now put those puppies along the long side of the phyllo, leaving yourself enough room to fold up the bottom over the bananas. but wait! before you start folding, sprinkle the bananas with chocolate chips. now, fold up the bottom over the bananas, fold the sides in, and roll the whole think up. brush with butter, and sprinkle the whole thing with sugar. stick it on a greased cookie sheet in the oven for about 10 minutes or so.
it will blow your mind with its warm, gooey, banana goodness.

on the other hand, if you're craving french onion soup, do not chop a bunch of onions and sautee them endlessly, then pouring veggie broth over them. save yourself the trouble and get a mix. this is a good way to avoid having an endless supply of cooked onions with little or no liquid left.

trust me on this.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

on writer's block, and the new blogger

well, a new year, a new blogger. i just made the leap to the new version, and we will see how it goes. of course, this means my html skills will continue to decline, but i'm sure there are new and more fascinating web programs for me not to learn, either.
i have read (and probably posted before) that writer's block stems from the inability to make a decision on things. so, you end up paralyzed and unable to melt the ice block that your brain has become. i'm sure experiencing feelings like that at the moment. as i always say, where there is no external pressure, i will apply it internally.
and of course, the same old songs running through my head... that classic "What if I never write again?" and the torch standard "You suck, you suck, you suck". or the punk breakout "Oi! All your ideas are wanky!" and so on.
i know from personal experience that this is normal. that all creative folks go through periods like this, whether they admit it or not. i bet even robert lepage has had an evening of self-doubt and loathing in his lifetime.
of course, i just realized today that i have a week more than i thought to turn in something (and believe me, i'm not looking for brilliance. i'm looking for a page with words printed on it that can be legally attributed to me), and it's something of a reprieve. at least, i'm looking at it as a reprieve, and not an extra week's sentence.
ironically, a girl on a message board i read was looking for story ideas today, and i rattled off quite a few off the top of my head. all with a beginning, a middle, and an end. and, that delicious additive/preservative, CONFLICT. so not only can it be done, I CAN DO IT. usually about inconsequential things that i'm not responsible for, but that's beside the point.
so. this should pass.
in other news, i stumbled upon a site that lets you create your own wiki for projects such as writing grocery lists, doing your marketing project, planning a trip, and, oh, say, writing a play. i'm kind of intrigued by it... the idea of having all my "stuff" organized in one, easy-to-access linkable page titillates the obsessive-compulsive part of my brain. although i can't quite see going to the trouble of creating a wiki for your grocery list.
but such is life.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

truly, a scent epic

you know that "scent story" product?
you know the one, where you put a little cd into a box, seemingly like the plastic records and turntable i used to play with as a child, but instead of music, it sends various smells into your home? supposedly these smells are calibrated in such a way that it takes you on a smelly journey. like you take a walk on the beach, and then you go home and bake cookies, and then you take a bubble bath. or something like that. i find it hard to believe that these combined smells wouldn't end up lingering in your living room and creating a stinky, unlivable atmosphere, but i suppose science is making all kinds of advances these days.
in any case, i began to wonder if i couldn't patent the "scent story" that plays out for FREE each time i enter my apartment building. this is how i imagine it to be...

once upon the time, there was a man, a man who'd spent the past 46 hours drinking cheap rye and chewing on cigarette butts. one of these had given him a rather unmentionable digestive problem, and he wandered through the lobby of my apartment, emitting tiny puffs of intense... ambiance. he found his way to the elevator (where earlier, a 19 year old dog with bladder control issues had ridden down with his owner, a 91 year old with bladder control issues of his own), and found himself taken ill. after finishing his business, he realized that the elevator wasn't moving fast enough, and that he would have to relieve himself, fortunately in the same spot where the aforementioned man and his dog had been standing. (get it? the layering of scent in this story is complex)
upon reaching the 13th floor, which, coincidentally, is the very same floor i live on, this unfortunate man staggered out of the elevator, where he was overcome by the fumes of yet another smell catastrophe: the self-taught plumber who "works" in the building. he seems to wander the complex, randomly pouring chemicals down people's drains, and creating clouds of sulfur-stinking fumes which drift and linger throughout the building.
it is at this point that the man in question, realizes he's in the wrong building, and is so overcome by this, that he passes out in the hallway. eventually, he will move on, but he's left his mark, a little concentrated scent exclamation to cap off our story.
or at least, that's how i imagine the scent story of my apartment building would play out. except on one random day of the week, when everyone simultaneously decides to fry fish and onions. perhaps there's a building discount i don't know about.
really, i can't imagine how layering some apple pie and beach smells on top of that wouldn't improve things.

and in the shadow of success...

abject failure!
after my perfect little cookies i made the other day, i decided to make some of the jell-o we have in the cupboard. so i followed the instructions. i mean, how hard is it to make jell-o?
but here's the thing: IT DIDN'T WORK. 24 hours later, the jell-o still has not set. and i believe it's not going to.
how did i screw up jell-o? could i have gotten a bad batch? what could be bad about it? is there some horrible chemical in my water which is slowly killing me, and i am ignoring the early warning signs of non-sett-able jell-o? is this going to be a real life episode of house, where they send someone to search my apartment and have their a-ha moment when they see the jell-o box in the garbage?
it's probably just a bad batch.
but weird.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

the perfect storm...?

seriously, people here were going nuts about "the worst blizzard in 20 years". on the morning news yesterday, they were recommending that people get child care for today, or start thinking about taking the day off work. because last night, the cold and snowy wrath of god was to descend on us. empires would collapse. cannibalism would run rampant. the only thing that would erase the chill would be the blazing fires set by rioters, driven mad and snowblind by this, the blizzard of the century.
all in all, it's been a pretty disappointing blizzard. certainly not something that ctv will make movies about, or that the tragically hip might write a song about. we got some snow, and it's really, really, REALLY cold now. like -35 cold. apparently the guys working on the ice sculpture festival were still going at it today, building their ice hotel, or ice lavatories, or whatever it is that they're using those chainsaws for. i myself did not venture outside today. instead, i made cookies and looked for a job.
and both have come to fruition! my cookies somehow turned out in perfect uniform little circles. and i have some job interviews coming up. unfortunately, one is tomorrow morning, and it's still going to be -30. and i used the last egg today, so i will have to stop and purchase more if i want to make more cookies. not that i should, but if i should want, i will probably require eggs.
the good news is next week it will be +3. so i guess that's not too good for the ice festival, but what can you do?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

and... take two

ok, so after a two week "relapse" into smoking, brought on by the hellhole unpleasantness that was Air Canada and Calgary, i am now once again smoke free. as of one hour ago. one hour down, the rest of my life to go.
oh god. let me advise you, if you are ever quitting something, don't think about it in terms of "well, no more of this FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE." just don't. it won't make things any easier.
so that should make the diet easier.
or not.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

if i can't lose any weight...

then perhaps i should gain myspace friends. i feel jealous of people who have 4000 friends. why don't i have that many friends? even pretend friends? i had thought about trying to make a new myspace friend for each day of the year, but that seems like too lame a project. or perhaps i should reward myself for each pound lost by gaining a myspace friend. of course demonstrating internetically how i will clearly become a better and more likeable person the thinner i get. ok, that seems like too psycho a project.
should i just start randomly friending people? or should i try to friend collections of people, like, say, all the winners of survivor plus the all-stars? or do it alphabetically, unable to move on to the next letter until i friend someone with the previous letter?
then again, i could try to make real friends.
nah. got plenty. i need an imaginary posse on the side.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

into each soup...

a ladybug must fall.
tonight i tried out one of my new cookbooks and made vegan potato-leek soup for dinner. so yummy. i would have taken a picture to class up the blog a bit, but i ate it instead.
j said it was delicious "except for this" and showed me a ladybug on the rim of his bowl. i, of course, immediately chalked this up to one of my numerous kitchen snafus, and was mortified. except the ladybug was moving. covered in potato leek goo, but moving. so while this begs the question "does a living bug in the soup make it non-vegan?", i realized that not even i could have washed the leeks as ineffectually as to have a ladybug survive the ensuing sauteeing, boiling, and pureeing to make it through to the other side. so we let the little guy go outside, even though i'm sure his potato-covered ass didn't make it much farther than the balcony. hey, i'm not running a bug hostel here, lucky or not.
j mentioned that this was the second one he'd seen this week. could we be on the verge of an infestation? an infestation of luck and cuteness?
i have a feeling that they won't be quite as cute en masse.
tomorrow is roasted cherry tomato pasta with soy cheese. hopefully insect-free.

Monday, January 01, 2007

... and a happy new year

well, i am back, and it is a whole new year already.
needless to say, i did finally make it out of calgary. while waiting for my cab, i nodded at the prostitute making a quick exit stage right from the lobby. and, of course, when i got to the airport, i found out that once again, my flight had been cancelled. but i made it home. exhausted, and covered in stress-induced hives, i made it home!
the post-christmas depression is upon me, with nothing more around me than christmas decorations my cat has torn down, and a host of candies and treats left over to eat. except that i should be on my newly-resolved diet. but that's another story, and one that is too shameful to be told.
speaking of shameful stories, i had a bizarre experience at a party last night. upon our introduction, my host's companion immediately asked me if i was from ottawa. cautiously, i replied i was. he then informed me that we'd gone to high school together, although we were barely acquaintances. later on, he made mention of his memories of me, which involve surly, uber-emo behaviour that was typical of me at around 17 or so. horrors! i have no recollection of any of our interactions. yet i had the impulse to apologize for my behaviour lo these many years ago. and a kind of nervous turmoil inside of not only being reminded of my past transgressions, but of there being actual physical evidence, in the form of this tall man in a tie. which i suppose just goes to show that no matter how far away you go, some things you can't leave behind.
unless you move to vancouver.
yeah, no one knows me there.