Sunday, November 23, 2008

full of pea soup and musings

The pea soup was delicious, if a bit filling. It was kind of like eating really runny mashed potatoes. Fortunately, we had herb olive bread to help out. Of course, this is the kind of meal that tends to expand in your stomach, well after you've finished eating. One bowl was more than enough for me, and now I have lots and lots of soup to freeze.

Nano is going well-- I hit 40K today, surprisingly. Once I realize I only have to hit 1600 or so words a day, I tend to have trouble writing more than that... maybe I'm just the kind of person who needs to hit a goal amount every day. Although today I managed to get out close to 4000 words, possibly because I was actually interested in what I was writing. Still not planning to reread it once November is done, though. :)

Tonight I'm going to book our greyhound tickets and hotel for our Canmore trip-- the first of a series of adventures in which we go visit places and leave them with substantial portions of our savings accounts. Plus I am still searching for interesting, non-churchy places to hold the ceremony... right now I've got my eye on an art gallery and a museum, both of which I will probably go and see once we're there. The community theatre is out, sadly, because as much as I would love my rental fee to go towards supporting local arts, I cannot get this guy to email me back for the life of me. And if I'm having this much trouble now... well, I don't really need the stress of dealing with non-contact all year.

I cannot force myself to try on wedding dresses. I mean, I guess I will have to force myself to try on some dresses. Am I in denial? Is it because I am a bad bride who didn't do her excel sheet yet? At least we came up with an invite list... I believe the numbers sit at around 125, including us. But I expect we may have trouble hitting 60, since we are so very out of town for... well, everyone. And 60 is just fine by me!

Can't decide if I should get my pics printed in colour, black and white, or some of each. This is of course, a busywork type of worry, because ultimately, no one is going to reject me because I sent them a colour photo, or vice-versa. Or because my staple is in the wrong place or something like that. I should really try and limit my worrying to things that I can actually change and that matter.

Hopefully in December I will be doing a redraft of Laws of Thermodynamics (my play, not the actual laws), and perhaps starting a solo project. Of course, I have no idea how to write a solo project, the art form that is at perhaps the greatest risk for wankitude or fontrum. But I suppose I could take a Nano approach to it-- if it sucks, continue to write. If it stil sucks, write something else.

Going to go book some tickets and... well, I was going to say start my spreadsheet, but I will probably watch the Colbert Christmas Special instead.

ps - did I ever mention that two of my secret dreams are to record a christmas album and to have a super-lame cheesy christmas special?

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Today I am procrastinating. Specifically, I am actively procrastinating-- making lists of things to do without actually having to do anything. Sure, I got out and ran some errands today, managed to resist getting one of the Safeway veggie sandwiches that I love so much, yet are decidedly not on Weight Watchers. I checked the wedding planning list on the Knot (god help me), to assess how far behind I may actually be on doing things. I thought about Christmas, and what everyone should get. I should really be working on my guest list, or getting my Nano-ing out of the way for today.
And yet, I am doing nothing.
It could be that I actually need a mental break from doing things, or worrying about what I'm not doing. It's a strange combination of loneliness and indulgence, being here by myself for the week while J is on tour. But if anything, I'm also reminded that the world continues to move at the same speed, whether I want things to slow down or not.
But it's oddly comforting to have so many things to do that I need to make a list. Which gives me the sense of accomplishing something without really making any decisions or taking action. Obviously, the wedding stuff will sort itself out, once we get down there to see some venues and start spending money (yikes, says my bank account). I just proofed my new headshots, so I should be able to send them out right around the same time I send out my Christmas cards.
As for writing, I'm torn. Start a new project, rewrite old project and send it out into the world? Possible to do both at once?
Fortunately, there are so many medical improv gigs lately, I can't possibly feel like a complete bum.
Still, I should probably start actually checking things off my list, before I start adding more.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

oh, poor neglected blog!

I have been away, and busy. At the moment, I'm still planning a wedding, writing a nano-novel (that's nanowrimo, not a very very tiny novel), trying to get my career together. Did I mention that I finally finished that play? I did. My reading was hilariously underattended (as in about 4 people showed up. including me.), yet numerous people I know have said "Oh, I heard your reading went really well!"

Which begs the question: who have you heard this from? And I suggest that the answer is: no one. It is part of the highly sophisticated social code we artists operate under... when you say something like "I heard your reading went really well!", the subtext is often: "I didn't attend your event, but don't want you to feel that I am rejecting you, in case we need favours from each other one day." Or something similar.
Or who knows, maybe the word on the street is that I'm brilliant, and it hasn't gotten back to me yet.

I also picked a photo-- waiting to get the proofs back for my headshot. At which point the plan is to get a shitload of them printed, and to send them out to theatre companies and film agents here in town, with a nice letter saying "Here is my resume and new photo for your files, please hire me/sign me" as the case may be. I like doing administrative work-- I feel confident with it. So at least in this area, the mass mail-out, I can really shine.

Speaking of administration, I finally get to live the day that every little girl dreams of: creating my wedding planning excel spreadsheet. My skills with excel aren't exactly stellar. But I need something to keep track of the budget/guest list/vendors/seating plan for the thing that I'm telling myself is exactly like planning an opening night reception.

While J is on tour, I've also committed to going back on weight watchers. It's not like I've been completely unhealthy lately, but there have been a few things I've let slide. Lack tracking my food. And losing weight. So I'm trying to get back on track before the chocolate season is fully upon us. Which means I reinstated my gym membership (it's been on medical suspension since just before my surgery) and I fully intend to go tomorrow. Even though I find the gym totally intimidating. See what I'm doing there? Already trying to talk myself out of it.

The nano novel is... well, it's really just a writing exercise. I won Nano two years ago, and never looked at my script again. I fully intend to use the same strategy with this one. Surfing the forums, I find it strange to see all the posts from people with "My characters won't do what I want!" or "I saw something online that was discouraging to writers and now I can't write!" or "I've decided to write a novel about alcohol rehab, can anyone tell me what goes on in alcohol rehab?"
OK, I'm being a bit of a jerk here, I mean, maybe this is the only thing some of these folks will write all year. Hell, maybe this is the only major project some of them have ever written. But there's a real syndrome of putting the cart before the horse over there. Like asking about publishing and agents when you're still struggling to get the first 10,000 words out. Or being completely unable to write crap and worry about reading it back and editing later. If Nano reaffirms anything to me, it's that the process itself is not magic. Ideas and inspiration may be a bit magical, but the process itself is pretty straightforward:

You write.
You write a lot of crap.
You write a lot of crap and worry about it later.
Once in a while, things will magically come together through a crazy synchronicity that you should try not to overanalyze.
And, if you don't know much about your subject, either do some research, or make some stuff up. You can always fix it later.

Is that all the news that is the news? I think so. I will try to update once more before the end of the month.