Thursday, March 24, 2005

a stitch in time... CAN KILL YOU!!!

eBay item 5566217149 (Ends 26-Mar-05 18:53:38 EST) - Haunted Possessed Disney Stitch Teddy Dangerous?

many thanks to Dr. Matt for bringing this to my attention... everyone should check this out, it's happening right in my own backyard, as it were. i can't help thinking that it bears a strange resemblance to the Stephen King story "The Monkey", but i supposed all possessed toys would have something in common. i know it's long, but it's worth it to read all the "updates". also, take a look at all the bidders' questions.

could this be true?

or could this be a way for me to make $300?


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy No Snakes Day!

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(Ends 17-Mar-05 19:43:12 EST) - LEPRECHAUNS POT OF GOLD

myself, I am horribly broke, but you all can head on over to eBay RIGHT NOW and partake in the LUCK OF THE IRISH! how many coins do YOU think he has? remember, kids, it's GUARANTEED!


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

is there anything worse than a 0.8 share?

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tore myself away from true hollywood story self-improvement to check up on my favourite cultural offering: reality tv shows, and i note that my new favourite, the WB's THE STARLET is going down for the 3rd time, no bubbles to be seen. this exciting rip-off of both The Apprentice and ANTM came in 114th out of 116th of ALL PRIME-TIME SHOWS airing during the week. think about that. ALL OF THEM. that includes a whole pile of shit that we have never heard of, stuff that you would assume no one would ever think to watch. and all that crap gave The Starlet the beating of its life. stuff like American Dream Derby. and JAG. even if they made a hilarious JAG spin-off about JAG's upstairs neighbor, it would have to get better ratings.

and why? i mean, this show is like fontrum central.

fontrum = the act of being embarrassed for someone who should be embarrassed for themselves but is not. fontrum can be found throughout the inhabited world, most frequently at live theatre, comedy clubs, and karaoke. see also: American Idol.

have you ever seen the inevitable ANTM episode where all the models have to take "acting" lessons? well this is like that ALL THE TIME!! plus, it's not just some random dialogue you've never heard of... you get to see our contestants competing to give the best performance in scenes from "Smallville"! and "Fastlane!" and "A Cinderella Story"!

feel the SIZZLE!

and... the best part... it is hosted by Vivica A. Fox and FAYE DUNAWAY.

what the hell?! like did someone steal her identity and embezzle all her money and ruin her credit so she desperately needed to take this show because she was also cracked on the head and developed amnesia and FORGOT SHE WAS AN OSCAR-WINNING ACTRESS? or has it all been to work towards encouraging young gals to become starlets... no, not stars, not artists, not actresses. boobs and hair, girls. that's it.

ok, the VERY best part... is that when a girl get's kicked off the show... faye dunaway gets to say:

"don't call us. we'll call you."

i don't understand why more people don't want to watch this!!!


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

dutch goes down!

so you see, my lovelies, i have not abandoned you without cause... i have finally finished that bastard of a play, and sent it off not only to the APC (a competition that i can only dream will pay me lots o $$$) but to a friend who works at the big house (uh, theatre not penitentiary) who requested it. so i'm feeling somewhat smug about the whole thing. plus all copies of all versions of the stupid thing are far from my sight. i don't have to see that piece of poo artistic achievement for another six months if i don't want to.

blogs are depressing. not mine, which is just sad and neglected, but other blogs. check out the button in the top right-hand corner. go for it. hit "next blog". chances are you'll get some cool smart commentary, but you'll get way more people musing about suicide. or maybe i was just having a bad run.

so i have to go watch american idol while eating mini-eggs read proust while nibbling on low-carb, vegan cuisine.

my spine is... let's just say i think it's working for the enemy. we'll call it my spy-ne from now on. i'll be back to try and brighten the place up with some cool pictures though, seeing as i have a couple of days off with no money and nowhere to go...