Back to real life, and Audition #2

So here I am, back at work (Job #2, to be specific), and it's cold and a little snowy outside. I'm just beginning to discover that my house does not, in fact, have a swim-up bar or a buffet. And I'm back to getting up early and slogging to work.

While I was leisurely perusing my emails yesterday (still haven't managed to escape the email lists of all the wedding vendors), I noticed that an email my agent had sent me had an attachment that didn't look like an attachment. And what I mean by this is: sometimes for non-union or non-paying gigs (something you'd do for resume credit and experience), she'll send out breakdowns for us to submit ourselves to. Usually stuff like student films and the like. Which is what I thought this particular email was. But when I clicked the unnoticed attachment, I saw that it was actually a schedule for Saturday, with my name smack in the middle of the day.

It seems she'd submitted me for an industrial, and they've asked to see me. Unfortunately, Job #1 had scheduled me all day Saturday. Much frantic facebooking later, I managed to find someone to cover my shift, and now I have two more things on my list of things to do:

1) head to Value Village on my way home to find something smart and businesslike in camera-friendly colours (all my work-ish clothes are black or crazy patterns, a no-no for camera)
2) memorize my sides for Saturday morning

See? Just when I start giving up, life throws me a bone. Thanks, life!

It just so happens that last night I was reading The Actor's Voice, which is a terrific weekly column by Bonnie Gillespie--she's an actor turned casting director, and she has great perspective for actors. This week's column is about doubt, and she poses the question "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

Which is a simple enough, hippie-granola-ish question. But I know that my list of things would probably be quite long. The threat of failure is an embarrassingly huge influence in my life. And Bonnie suggests that I consider letting my doubts go, whether I'm using them to protect myself, using them as an excuse to not really go for it, whatever. I don't even know what I doubt, exactly. Something I'll have to examine further, I suppose.

OK, finishing some work, planning some menus, and hoping some other size 12/14 woman has discarded the perfect outfit!