Sunday, October 07, 2012

Too late to say yes?

Howdy, y'all. 55 days left at my job, in case you're counting. It's Thanksgiving weekend up here in Canadia, and I am so thankful I don't have to go back to work until Tuesday!

Lately I've been doing that thing where you look back over previous decisions you've made and try to figure out where things could have gone differently... and I've realized that there have been more than a couple of times when I've said no to things... to offers of gigs, to workshops, to stuff like that... I think mostly because I was afraid.

Afraid of what? I don't know. Of sucking. Of not knowing what I'm doing. All those pesky insecurities. And of course, now I'm complaining that my career isn't where I want it to be, and maybe that's because I said no to things before. So now I have to start saying yes to things, consciously saying yes and not letting myself back down because of fear.

But I wonder... is it too late to say yes to things? What if I said no too many times and I used up my offers?

I'm really hoping that doesn't happen. I mean, I've been guilty of being angry at the universe for not being fair, which I know it isn't, but still...

In exciting news, I'm now starting week 4 of Couch to 5K. I was feeling pretty triumphant yesterday at the gym, until, that is,I got lapped by a speed walker. An older gentleman speedwalking. Who didn't even seem to be working that hard.

Coincidence? Or lesson in humility from the universe?

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