an open letter to gowan

dear gowan (or should i call you larry?),
i can't help but notice that it has been over a week since i asked you to be one of my myspace friends. this is a select honour, as i am virtually friendless in all aspects of my life. sure, i could have searched out glass tiger, or chilliwack, or frozen ghost, or any of the other greats of canadian music, but i chose you. perhaps it was your great hits like "cosmetic", or "strange animal" that drew me. if you'd bothered to view my profile, you would notice that i have chosen to share your masterpiece "criminal mind" with those who visit my page.
well gowan, i've just about had it. i'm tired of being greeted by the message that i am *still* waiting for your approval. i've got half a mind to cancel my request and search out gino vanelli instead. perhaps, like black cars, my profile would "look better in the shade". and then you'd be s.o.l, gowan.
still, i can't help but wonder if tomorrow your approval will shine down on me like so much sunshine after a long, gloomy rainstorm. only then will my friends list be truly complete.
so won't you please take a moment to approve my request? i think you'll find that i'm a kind, considerate, loyal friend. need to talk about the problems recording your latest single? i'm there. depressed about your thinning hair? let's go for coffee. need to know that i won't desert you for the friendship of alfie zappacosta? just check out your friends list. i'll be there for good.
hopefully this has cleared a few things up. i look forward to a long, long, internet friendship.
yours truly,
uberviolet