life in the big city

so here in stabby, stabby e-town, crime is a fact of life.
i was walking through the mall downtown, coming down the escalator outside of winners when i saw 2 guys steal a bunch of stuff. it was pretty well planned, for a shoplifting. one of them left the store with a group of people, his merch setting off the alarm. then, in the confusion of old ladies standing around looking through their bags to see what still had tags on it, the other guy took a flying leap through the exit. the two guys took off through the mall, dropping their bounty and stopping to pick it up, then body checking some poor guy into a door in their haste to get out.
oddly, there was no one in hot pursuit. everyone in winners (staff) just stood around looking confused. perhaps this happens all the time.
later, when i was on the bus going home, i saw two guys standing outside the entrance to the mall, the very same that the shoplifters had run out of. they were wearing the same kind of jackets (all that stuff you hear about eyewitnesses being fairly unreliable is totally true, all i saw were puffy jackets and that they were guys). i wondered if this might be the same young jd's. one of them seemed pretty proud of an unopened package of blistex (do they even sell that at winners? perhaps they were on a mall crime spree), and the other one was chowing down on a full pack of twizzlers. maybe it wasn't those two guys. maybe the shoplifters were long gone, and these guys just had chapped lips, a sugar craving, and happened to be somewhat shady looking.
if i were going to shoplift, it probably wouldn't be from winners. although, seeing their low, low security response, perhaps i would re-evaluate. but why shoplift when i can take advantage of their low, low prices? and more stock arriving every day!
plus, i can't think of too much in winners that i would want to steal. ill-fitting, off-size "designer" brands? strange foamy shoes? last year's day timers?
now, if we were in home outfitters, i would be sure to wear something with extra pockets. or something roomy, so i could fake a mixmaster pregnancy.