went to see the surgeon today, and it looks like ye olde back will soon be operated on. which is great news! i was so worried that he would say "nope, sorry, nothing i can do", and then i'd be stuck with some damn crap hell leg pain. i don't have any dates yet, but the nurse assured me that since i'm young and my operation is a short one, it should be quite easy to fit me in. so at least i'm young somewhere! personally, i hope that it's scheduled before the end of june, for the obvious reasons of not being in pain any longer than i have to, and because it looks like i'll be doing a fringe show this year. so i need to heal up in time for rehearsals.
a fringe show? me, who is chronically fringe-unemployed, and even contemplating leaving the biz a short time ago?
strange how things work out, no?
i suppose i'm trying to find a way of satisfying myself with my work. it's hard not to feel like the kid picked last, or to feel like i'm being ignored by the community. because generally i'm being ignored, i think. not because my work sucks, but because the nature of the beast is to be self-centered. which goes for me, too. so the only way to be happy is to make myself happy and define success for myself. this just occurred to me as i was hearing all these details about the readings i'm a part of, how one of my actors dropped out, how i don't know who's directing, how there are apparently contracts that no one has contacted me about.... and so on. i guess in a way i don't really care any more. it'll be nice, and probably inspiring to hear it read in rehearsal, but i don't expect much from the read itself. the read is really being done out of obligation, i think, and i'll take it for the resume credit, but i'm not putting my life on the line for it.
good god, american idol is terrible this year. that creepy younger david is going to make the worst albums. i mean, album.
yikes!
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