65 Days...

...and counting. Which is how long I have until it is December, at which point I will be giving notice at my job, after which I will be freeeeeeeeeeeee. Well, either free or begging temp agencies to please let me answer someone's phones before I starve to death.

Time is moving slowly on that front. What I really want to tell some of my colleagues is "If you'd just stop your dickish behaviour, everyone's job would be a lot easier". But I think calling people "dickish" is frowned upon, at least when you do it to their faces.

I was thinking about Facebook today (get it? Faces--Facebook?)and how in some cases it's given me a chance to resolve situations (like when I apologized to someone I'd had a major falling out with in high school, and it still bothered me all these years later), and in other cases it offers a chance to perpetuate dysfunctional, self-esteem-crushing relationships (coincidentally, also a person from high school). I'm sure in days gone by you would just never see those people again, but now they can always find you.

I mean, technically, I could always find them as well, but it seems creepier if they're looking for me.

Sweet Ford above, I cannot wait until it's 50something days left.

One of Those Days

So today I happen to be at work with a vicious red wine hangover--it's been so long since I was seriously hungover at work that I forgot how terrible it is, and how very, very old I feel. I went out with some old friends from work--a combination of folks who have gotten out of this place, and folks who are still here, but with plans to go. It was fantastic... except for dragging myself out of bed this morning.

The day before yesterday, I was feeling quite sorry for myself, because I lost a gig. That is, I got unasked to do a gig. That is, I got unasked by not being asked to do a gig I had previously been asked to do. Totally clear, right? Ugh. It was one of those moments where I thought "CAN NOTHING EVER BE EASY? MUST EVERYTHING ALWAYS BE THE HARD WAY?"

Apparently, the answer to that is... yes.

Did I mention I'm doing a junk food-free September? Because I was eating a little too much deliciousness and figured it might be impacting my ability to lose weight. Of course, I decided to do that just in time to get prescribed a long-term medication that is RENOWNED FOR WEIGHT GAIN. So despite eating better and running, I have been gaining weight, little by little. I have resolved to continue trying.

Now that all my various grant applications are behind me, I can start working on the next draft of my play. Onwards and upwards...

The Spreadsheet of Rejection

Ladies and gentlemen, the McConaughey approach to office interaction is working well so far... even today I've thought to myself WWMMCD? And the answer is, as always... all right, all right, all riiiiiiiiight.

So I have this spreadsheet. It's meant to be a spreadsheet where I keep track of where I've submitted what script, and what the response/followup has been. But lately, it's become the Spreadsheet of Rejection. And it's getting a little discouraging, what with the "no response 1 year, assume rejected" and "no response to followup, assume rejected" and the "form rejection". I was joking about it to one of my friends, and she said "That's horrible! Why would you do that to yourself?"

Well, I do it to myself to remember where I've sent a play... I didn't intend for it to turn out so depressing! But it has turned out a little depressing, hasn't it, friends? I'm trying to think of some things I want to do that have no bearing on whether or not someone likes my work, just things that would be fun. And so far I've come up with:

Take an improv class.
Take a dance class.
Get published in McSweeney's online.

OK, the last one has a little bit to do with someone liking my work. But it would be work other than a play, which seems to be the thing no one is liking at the moment. The improv and dance classes scare the crap out of me, because I'm (a) a control freak and (b)completely uncoordinated and self-conscious. So I have to be careful not to make them "this thing I'm going to do", and instead make them "This thing I'm doing."

I'll try and think of some other things, some of which will hopefully be less frightening.

Until then, may you be all right all right all riiiiiight.

Saturday and the McConaughey Office Theory

I've been oh-so-terribly busy lately--my one remaining supervisor colleague has gone on stress leave, so I get to be the head honcho at work now. I'm working ALL the time, and I miss having the occasional afternoon off. But I'm going to try and stick it out until December, and then I will be free, free, free.

Last time I wrote, I'd been working on a grant. Now I'm working on another grant: I just found out that I've been accepted to a really cool month-long program in another city next May, just in time to make a grant deadline... once I finally get done writing applications and grants, I can get started on the new play draft for the reading in October.

I've also started running again--2 runs in to the Couch to 5K. I'm assuming that eventually I won't feel like I'm going to die, right?

There's not too much more to update--all I do is work.Essentially I am just out of fucks to give... I'm going to do my best to get all the work done and keep the department running, but in the last three months I've seen two other people get so burned out they had to leave without notice. I've been thinking that I should put a picture of Matthew McConaughey at my desk, to remind me that my new attitude is "all right, all right, all right". Seriously, it's not worth it to my mental health to get into a Kobayashi Maru situation. And if I've learned anything about my workplace, it's that people spend a ton of time arguing about things that would never get done anyway, even if they immediately said yes.

Does that sound terrible? It's not that I don't care--I am still doing a good job. But I also care about not burning myself out for the sake of a toxic organization that tolerates shitty behavior from some of its employees.

All right, all right, all right, people. That's my strategy until December.

End of Summer Blues

Autumn is absolutely one of my favourite times of year, but I think that was borne of growing up somewhere that it stayed brisk but warm-ish (sweater weather!) for a while before the snow came. That and the multicolored leaves crunching underfoot. Here most of the leaves are just yellow (and not orange, gold and red), and they stay on the trees for approximately 1.74 days before they all just drop to the ground. Then the temperature drops and the snow comes.

I am, however, looking forward to wearing sweaters, baking pies, making soup, and doing a little Christmas knitting.

I've been feeling a bit blue lately, which means back to the doctor for a crazy pill adjustment. Tapering off of one, starting another, with all the exciting side effects that brings. This particular magic pill is something that's worked for me before, so I'm hopeful this will all start to clear up in the next couple of weeks.

Still working on that grant--I was smart enough to REREAD THE INSTRUCTIONS before submitting, and realized that I was working off of a previous version, meaning I need to rewrite and expand the whole thing. I have till Monday to submit, but I'm hoping just to get it done in the next couple of days and get it over with.

I got the rehearsal schedule for the reading in October, and I'm getting excited!

Plus today I'm getting paid for that show--not a princely sum, but more than expected.
Hopefully things will continue on an upward trend!

Thursday Thoughts

So a couple more reviews came in with slightly higher star ratings, and nicer things to say. We've just got two more shows left, one at 10pm this eveing, and one on Saturday around 6pm. I can't believe it's almost over--traditionally around this time of year it starts to get super-cold here. (I was horrified and outraged the year it snowed the first week of October and it just stayed on the ground till May.)

Things at work are really coming to a head... more flooding at the beginning of the week, and since our office is in the basement, that's not great news for us. I was thinking yesterday about how I would handle "Why did you leave your last job?" in a job interview, and I'm not sure... they say it's poor form to badmouth your previous employer. I'm torn between telling something of the truth, and just going with "It was time for a change." Although I'm pretty sure anyone hearing about the organizational dysfunction, flooding, fruit flies, and mice would probably understand why I left.

I have no immediate plans to go yet, but I'm thinking I might start applying for jobs. That's a big, unnerving step, because it means I really might be leaving. Brings the abstract into reality, as it were. I think things will ultimately break down here after the Labour Day weekend, which is the time of a big event here. I think my other colleague is planning on leaving immediately after that, and I have no intention of remaining here to do 4 people's jobs for no money.

That doesn't mean it's not scary, though.

Theatre-wise, what's going on... I have renewed my commitment to submit, submit, submit, which can be discouraging when there isn't a lot to submit to. But yesterday I was bold and submitted to A Big Fancy Theatre for a show. I've also submitted a couple of plays to some US companies, and I'm currently working on a grant application, and have the following stuff waiting in the wings: another grant application, application to Big Fancy Play Development Program, application to an artist intensive next may, and a new draft of the play I've been workshopping.

Theoretically, all these things should happen before the middle of September.

I think it's going to be a busy three weeks!

Reviews and rethinking

So, the reviews are in, and they are less than kind... one reviewer just didn't like the play, and two others said very nice things (to the effect that they really enjoyed it), but we are low stars across the board because we are "fluff". Now, I think fluff has its place in any medium--sometimes you don't want to wrap your head around some high-concept, philosophically challenging, intellectually provocative thing. Sometimes you just want to watch something that's entertaining and have fun. I think that's what this show is--just an entertaining amusement that's fun. We have fun doing it, and audiences don't seem to have been affected (though I suspect the producer is comping some folks, so we'll see how that affects the bottom line).

I have written reviews before, and it's difficult. As a practicing artist, I can't help but remember that every project, no matter how well or poorly executed, was once a thrilling germ of an idea, once that moved the writer and collaborators to go through the hard work of creating it and bringing it to fruition. I tried not to be a mean reviewer--I think sometimes reviewers are tempted to make their review about how clever and funny they are, which of course makes the review about them and not about the project they attended. As a reviewer, I tried to give the reader an idea of what they could expect, what the overall experience would be. Of course, I did give an opinion, but reviews are just that: opinions. If you read enough of them, you'll start to realize whose taste you agree with, and who you think is just a complete nimrod.

We have a couple of days off before we go back to it, and this means that I'm back at my job. There's been another high-level sudden defection, at least according to the rumor mill--nothing has been confirmed. It will, of course, send everyone in the higher echelons spiralling into crisis mode and panic. And my compensation (for doing the jobs of a few other people along with my own since June) will fall farther down the list. I can't help but feel it's a bit humiliating to have to ask to discuss this for the FOURTH TIME. I mean, if it were a priority, it would have been taken care of one of the first three times I asked, right?

My colleague here has asked me what I'm going to do. Part of me thinks I should just cut my losses and go. Part of me thinks I should ask one more time, and be clear that it is for the last time--I'm well aware that I could be paid more elsewhere for less work. Part of me wants to just bring it up publicly at this week's staff meeting, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of confrontation. Anyhoo, happy Monday to you all!

August Update

My friends, where does the time go? Has it already been a few weeks since I last updated? My apologies. Where were we? Well, things at work continue to be rather enshittening. I had sent my request to meet and discuss my compensation no less than 3 times before it was actually acknowledged that I had sent said requests--apparently we are "meeting this week" to discuss it, because it's "very important" to the organization. I have my doubts, but we shall see.

I've been thinking about exit strategies... my initial plan was to stay here till December, when I would a) hopefully get this awesome grant that would pay for my living expenses while I do some writing, or (b) just make a clean break for the new year. My main decision is: do I go back to freelancing, or do I just suck it up and get a decently paying joe job for a year or so? Freelancing is ultimately happiness for me, but the variable and uncertain pay may not be so great right now. A decent joe job would give me steady (and good) money, and possibly even allow me to continue to have health coverage, but I will likely lose the flexibility that I've had here. It's kind of a tough decision... happiness vs. financial stability. Ugh.

Rehearsals for the show are going well, we have just one more rehearsal tomorrow before opening on Friday. I can't believe it's almost the end of the summer! I've been struggling with my usual career doldrums, and have decided to counteract this by submitting plays... every time I feel particularly depressed about nothing happening, I submit one of my plays somewhere... I've been researching many places for some time, but it can be hard to get over the initial ugh of actually sending the email/mailing the package. I'm hoping to have a whole bunch more possibilities lined up, perhaps I will do a blitz of submissions for a week or a month or more.

I have to start draft seven at some point of the other play. I'm probably going to wait till after we open before I attempt that, as I have some other projects to do. You guys, someone higher up than me at work just sent a suggestion that is SO IDIOTIC that I cannot believe it is serious. And yet, I think it must be serious. I don't know how to respond to it. And yet, I must respond, or else said suggestion will come to fruition and it will be terrible. These are the things that make my job so miserable. And yes, I know there are idiots everywhere, but at least as a temp I could maintain some sort of detachment.

Tough Week

And it's only just begun... The workshop went really well on Friday, did I mention that already? I have some good feedback to put into my next (and what I think will largely be my final) draft. I have some time off from the play until September, when we're going to be doing a more intensive workshop, with blocking and design elements. Then a public reading in October, and... who knows? Possibly production next season, but I don't want to get my hopes too high on that one.

J's mom had a bad fall and broke her hip yesterday, so she's in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery. It was a bit of a long night for J, and he's been at the hospital with his parents today. I'm alone at work, who knows when my request for higher compensation will be dealt with, since I'm swamped and my boss is not around that much. It's the first day of 2 weeks of being in charge of the department, and it's been a long day. Coupled with a tornado watch for the area (a tornado is really all I need at this point, I can't wait for this day to be over! Anyone who tells me I've got a case of the Mondays will receive a swift punch to the face, or a kick to the nether regions...

Work vs Workshop

Howdy friends, Just thought I'd pop in for a quick update. Sadly, I got laid off from my part-time (also fun and well-paying and related to my actual career) gig this week. I'm going to miss the extra money! (Not to mention I'm fretting about finding a new second job to replace the old one in our budget!)

My day job is still pretty terrible--just overloaded with work, my request for a salary increase is being ignored (if they don't acknowledge the request, it never happened, right?). I'm trying to stick it out till the end of the year, at least for the health coverage and the stability, but these are trying times. The real trial by fire will be two whole weeks being the only supervisor here... yes, I'm going to be the big (wo)man on campus! Thinking about it makes my stomach churn, so I'm trying not to think about it.

But in good news, not only did I finish the next draft of my play, but I'm hearing it read tomorrow! And I will most likely be PAID for my efforts, which is thrilling. A theatre company here in town got some money to develop my play, so we've got regular workshops planned, culminating in some sort of public reading in the fall. So I think I get my paycheque for the whole thing tomorrow... oh, as well as hearing my play read. I haven't really touched this play in many moons (like, probably coming up on a couple of years), so it was both nerve-racking and exciting to make some changes. Although there's always that nagging thought "What if I ruin the play?" I know, I know, I can always change it back.

Act One - Done

I finished my rewrite of Act One today, which puts me squarely in the middle of the play--41 pages done, 41 pages left to go. As always, the trick is to wrap everything up in Act Two that you introduced in Act One... apparently these "plot points" and "character journeys" have to "pay off" by the time you get to the end of your "play". Today is the first normal-ish day at work since all the mayhem started, which I attribute to the lack of contact with other departments, including my own supervisors. Amazing how much work you can accomplish when you don't have to answer the phone 20 times an hour, or respond to a million emails.

I am thinking that I'm still going to try to stick it out till Christmas... another bonus of leaving at Christmas is that there's NO ONE AROUND to make a big deal. Or talk you into staying. I don't know if I can make it that long, so I'm not going to think about it for the moment. It's supposed to get murderously hot here over the weekend--water-the-garden-twice kind of weather, it seems. I will likely not want to do anything at all, except I have 2 rehearsals and a bunch of house cleaning to do for some guests who're staying here next week. Not to mention start tackling Act Two.

The Perfect Day

If I do say so myself, I had what I would consider a perfect weekday today. Being located in the Great White North, my job was closed today in observance of Canada Day. My husband was working, however, but I got to sleep in exactly the right amount (9:30 am), get up and go to the non-busy gym, ran a couple of errands, came home and did some rewrites (Scenes 1 & 2 to be exact), and then did a wee bit of (NERD ALERT!) Christmas knitting. To be fair, the knitting is actually for a Christmas present that didn't get started at all last year, and is so frustratingly complex that I can only knit 7 rows at a time. Oh, and put love into it, of course.

I was kind of dreading rewrites--I always think that I'm not very good at them, but I've started to get more comfortable. For this particular play, I hadn't touched it in a couple of years, so it was daunting to think about getting back into the mindset of the play. But I also realized that it's very cool to know your way around the world of the play. To be able to poke around the edges, or look at things you haven't looked at before. To know, as it were, which columns are load-bearing, and which can be knocked down and rebuilt.

I'm not sure if the changes are big enough, or if more of a shift is what's required this time out--I guess I'll find out at the next reading, which is scheduled for the end of July. If I had any editing to do this week, I suppose that would have been included in my perfect day, but there isn't any to be had. But having a beautiful day to spend working on my own stuff was amazing. As J points out, I guess every day could become like that soon, depending on how work goes. I'm already getting that dread-y feeling about going back in tomorrow. The other supervisor will be back from holiday, and there's a fairly good chance that she will also quit, or go on stress leave. I'm trying not to think about it. Instead I'm going to watch stupid television and eat curly fries and egg salad sandwiches.

I'm every woman...

So,what's been happening? I had a birthday. My boss quit--on my birthday, since I had the day off. My other boss is on vacation. For the last week I've been doing the jobs of 4 people, and having to have some pretty crappy conversations with the staff about the situation, about how everything's up in the air, what's going to happen next. I haven't been sleeping, I have headaches and stress tummy all the time. Not cool. I'm so, so glad this week is over. I have no idea what's going to happen next week.

The other supervisor may very well quit. And then, my friends, I will have some decisions to make. I had already been considering leaving at the end of December. But seeing how the organization has handled the situation, and feeling pretty certain we're going to lose more staff,I'm not sure how much longer I'll last. One of my friends at work said "The work you do outside of here is FAR more important than the work you do here. Don't change yourself for this place."

Speaking of which, I was supposed to start Draft Six this week, but all I want to do when I get home is sleep, eat, and drink, not necessarily in that order. To top it off, I actually had several pages of notes that I'd typed up about revisions I want to make, and I clearly remember putting them in a safe place. The exact place, however, is somewhat hazy at best. Another reason to house clean.

I have a three day weekend to think about work. My second job, mercifully, didn't have any edits for me this week, which is great. But also a reminder that the gig isn't steady work... I'd still need to temp a couple of weeks a month. But that sounds pretty good right now--having time to get up and go to the gym when it's not crowded, do some writing during the day, be able to socialize with friends, maybe get to go out on more auditions and work on projects. Sounds pretty good, if you ask me.

Update

Oh, you guys. Work is just miserable. Like, the most toxic, depressing environment miserable. I found out today my colleagues (we have a tight little alliance in my department that works really well) are fairly confident that they will be fired/made so miserable they will just quit by the end of the summer. And once the house is cleaned, they think I'll be asked to be "the saviour" and be in charge of all these things I don't know/care about and work and stress until I die. The crazy thing is: even though that sounds completely insane, I can absolutely see that happening. Well, maybe not literally working till I die, but something approximating a living death of SELLING ALL THE TICKETS.

I don't know what to do. The thought of getting another job is a bit overwhelming at the moment. I think I could tide myself over on my part time gig for a month or two, so I'm not terribly worried. I'm more worried about everyone else quitting/getting fired and then being asked to run things and having to quit. It's a complicated situation. It's like, junior high complicated, people. And that shit is COMPLICATED.

I am feeling old. I'm not THAT old, realistically, it's just that I can't shake this feeling that I have missed my shot, that all opportunities have passed me by and I HAVE FAILED. This is all unrealistic, I know. Probably related to the fact that my birthday is coming up on Moday. I got a rejection email today, and I am trying to remember that it was very nice of them to send me a note and not just never get back to me like many companies would. Always look on the bright side, and all that.

Wednesday

Hello, chums! I cannot wait for my day off... Saturday. And for once I have the entire weekend off! That seems to happen so rarely, I feel like I should do something decadent in celebration. I have found a way to do some stealth editing for my bonus job during the downtime of my primary job, which leaves me much more free time in the evenings. Perhaps that's not entirely kosher, but I'm struggling with my job at the moment. It's just such a negative environment, and I'm tired of all the bitching and backbiting and drama. Even theatre doesn't have that much consistent drama.

I am going to try and get back into knitting--I have a few friends who are expecting little ones, and I do love to knit some tiny socks and hats. As well, that Christmas present I never finished last year awaits. I got a little too ambitious with what I thought I could accomplish in a limited amount of time... sound familiar?

I didn't hear back from that big audition for a callback, so I'm trying to put it out of my mind. I haven't heard from anyone else that they got a callback, so I don't know if they've done them or not, but there's really only so long it's healthy to keep hope alive. If I stop putting anxiety towards it and I do hear back from it, great. If not, then I can move on to bigger and better things... whatever those are. I've also already decided my gym days for next week, working under that popular theory that if you schedule time in your calendar for healthy living, you will just do it. I have tested that theory before, to varying degrees of success. Happy Wednesday!

Surviving Saturday

Well, that last post was certainly a downer. I am feeling a bit less stressed out and anxious today, yet still frustrated. I think some of this comes from working every single day of the week, and being broke. Some of it is coming from a weird doubting place, where I think I just realized for literally the first time in my life "Maybe I won't be successful at this art thing." I know, that sounds weird, because the arts are such an unstable, uncertain endeavor. But I always knew "I am going to be successful." That doesn't neccessarily mean being wealthy, or famous, but other markers of success: getting produced. Getting to perform. Getting recognized for my work. I'm having a hard time believing that will happen lately. Is this what everyone I knew who quit to do something else felt like? Is this a sign I should quit and do something else? I think I may need to take a break from the theatrical world at large and focus on my own projects, and on the people who are supportive of me. Screw the haters and all that. Or perhaps I need to engage in some other creative pursuits: I've been having a hankering for some baking and sewing time lately. Maybe I just need to recharge. Or quit worrying so much about everyone else and how well they're doing. Or some combination of both. What do you do when you need to recharge?

Complaining Wednesday

I was going to call this "Bitching Wednesday", but I was afraid you'd assume that my Wednesday was... BITCHEN'! Which it most certainly is not. Here is my list of petty complaints: * my job is becoming increasingly unpleasant to work at. There are many power struggles within my organization, some hours cutbacks, and general increasing tension. I am rapidly reaching the point where the crap I am forced to put up with is exceeding the amount I'm being paid. * theatrical award nominations for my community came out this week, and they are disheartening. It's clear that the folks on the jury and I (also on the jury) have very divergent tastes. And some of the stuff that is nominated was just... not very good. It makes me sad that this is what people in the community think is the best we can do. It makes me sad that what's rewarded is so different than what I do. * I'm not writing anything new. I need to be writing something new to submit to some residency opportunities. But I'm not. * I feel like I'm basically getting up in the morning, going to one job, going home, doing chores, working my other job and going to bed every day. * We are still miserably broke. * A good friend of mine who's a very talented writer is having great success--winning competitions, getting productions, etc. I am proud of him, and a bit jealous. * I am having a case of the wallows... where I think the word that will best describe my career is "ALMOST" Ugh. Here's to this day being over as soon as possible.

The Big One Down!

So I thought I should post an update as to how my big day went on Friday... the workshop was great. It was a bit difficult to get back in the mindset of this play, especially because I can't help thinking of it as "the play that everyone likes but no one wants". But we had some great actors and a lively discussion, and I have some good ideas for what will happen next. My next workshop is scheduled for July 20, so that's about a month to get a new draft done. Scary! The audtion... well, I don't know how that went exactly. The chat portion was very positive--I was honest about why I wanted to be in the program, and they seemed impressed that I'd put so much thought in it. The acting/singing portion could have gone better. I dried in the middle of my Shakespeare (a very obvious dry... one of those pauses that is clearly not an acting pause, but the pause of an actor suddenly forgetting their lines), but I soldiered on. It happens to everyone once in a while, but it sucks to have it happen in an audition situation. The contemporary monlogue went quite well (according to me), but I got no re-direct on either. Does that mean something? I don't know. And the song... was not the greatest. It wasn't the worst, but I did get some comments from the music director about things I had written in my music, and how maybe those weren't the best choices, and how maybe we'd have the opportunity to discuss those further. I was so relieved to be done with the stress when it was done, I totally busted out in tears in front of a couple of friends. Which is SUPER EMBARRASSING. Just because a) I don't usually cry in front of others and b) I'm not a person who cries about auditions generally, and I don't want to seem... I don't know... frivolous? I was super-depressed about the whole thing for the rest of the day. Anyway, they are auditioning in 2 other cities, for several days in each, so I'm assuming a lot of non-locals will be chosen. I'm giving myself this week to hope to hear for a callback, and then I'm giving up. This afternoon I'm acting in a new works festival--rehearsal this afternoon, performance tonight, which I'm looking forward to. As well as the tiny paycheque! I'm so glad that all the stress is over with... for now, anyway.

One down, one to go...

So yesterday, I had the first of two auditions this week--this was the lower stress one, although it was a little more awkward than usual due to my being good friends with one of the AD's. I think because you always want your friends to think you're good and talented and so on, it's strange to audition for them. I guess because a friend's opinion matters more than someone I'll never see again. But it went well! The chat portion was good,and my monologues were decent--I did have a bit of that out-of-body experience doing the monolgues, but I think that happens to a lot of people. Particularly because you're not doing it in context, or after a couple of weeks of working together on it. But it was a positive experience, and I'm glad it's over! I had a vocal coaching this morning for my second audition, which also went very well. We talked about the order of my pieces, and I may end up singing first. I usually put off singing, just because I'm the most nervous about it, but it makes sense vocally and thematically to do my sweet love song before the murderous rage and cold revenge. I just keep telling myself that singing is muscle memory... the more I practice doing it with good habits, the more easily they will come to me. In time, of course. I'm nervous! But I'm feeling quite prepared. Another couple of days should solidify that.

Hell Week

Howdy friends, So shit is going down at my day job--long story short, it's possible that either I will be laid off, or I will stay but the new situation will make me so unhappy that I will realize that I can be unappreciated for a lot more money and go elsewhere. Naturally, I will try to stick things out as long as possible, as is my nature. But I have to say I am so tired of not feeling supported by the mucky-mucks in upper management. I feel an exit strategy may be in order. I have an audition tomorrow, which I'm reasonably well-prepared for. It's a little bit extra awkward, since I happen to know one of the artistic directors quite well--it's somehow worse to audition for friends than it is for complete strangers for some reason. Friday, I am supposed to have a half-day workshop of a play I wrote. This was all fitting nicely into my schedule, since I am required to be at work in the morning. Unfortunately, now I have an audition scheduled at a Big Fancy Theatre about 15 minutes after the workshop is supposed to be finished. Since they're across town from each other, this is not ideal. Also, I am preparing new monologues and a new song for said audition. I am FREAKING OUT. I need to reschedule one of these things, but it isn't working so far. I'm also supposed to find out about another audition at a Big Fancy Theatre in the next two days. If the universe smiles upon me, I WILL get called in, and I will NOT be scheduled for Friday. And how is YOUR week looking?