Audition #1

So I'm a little early for 2010, but I thought I'd count this one anyway. Had an audition tonight for a student film, which was cool because the director seemed more nervous to direct me than I was to be there. See, I suffer from something I call CAMERA PANIC. As soon as I'm aware that a camera is pointed at me, either still photo or moving pictures, I start to feel... awkward and weird. You know that episode of 30 Rock where Jack is going to be in a sketch and he holds 1 coffee mug in each hand doing this "natural" robotic walk? That's how I feel. Particularly in the facial area.

However, the only way out is through, and that means practice, practice, practice. Because I think I'm actually pretty decent on camera (thank you, freakishly big buggy eyes!), I just have to not be self-conscious.

Come to think of it, a lot of aspects of my life would probably improve if I wasn't self-conscious. But of course if you concentrate on NOT being self-conscious, it only exacerbates the situation. Working on it!

I've been writing every day this week-- although I am rusty and it is painful, I get that horrible guilt feeling if I don't write every day. Although I'm thinking of re-titling this "Exposed: An Expose Wherein Dr. Exposition Explains Everything That Has Happened Up Until This Point". Seriously, this is the most boring play ever. Rewrites are in order. But I can't think about that now, because if I convince myself this is stupid, then I won't finish it. And we're already committed to producing it in May, so... you see how self-consciousness works against me?

I don't know if I got the film or not. They did ask for my availability, but that could mean nothing. Or something. Or nothing.