the other day i was sitting on the bus, a bus crowded with rain-soaked, mildly disgruntled and hungry passengers, when i heard the distinct bleating of a cell phone.
now, i admit that i am currently in the market for a phone myself, and if i had one, i would probably use it. i would probably even use it in public places. and i will admit that since i don't actually have my own cell phone, i'm unaware of pressing consumer issues such as phone reception on buses.
however.
the one thing that drives me INSANE about people talking on their cell phones is the people who take all their calls in this unnaturally loud, Stone Phillips-type voice. maybe they're trying to be heard over some kind of static on the line, but since they never mention this "static" (and trust me, you hear everything else they mention), i can only assume that they are in some way bragging. somehow, some sick need for attention causes them to lord their technological advancement over the rest of us poor jerks.
isn't that why people used to use the first cell phones? the ones that looked like you were holding an immense MixMaster to the side of your face? or the first CAR phones? sure, you looked like a dork, but you could order a pizza to yourself in the parking lot.
however.
this particular fellow was having a very involved conversation with or about an unseen individual named "John". the meat of which centered around a business transaction involving a stereo, or possibly an XBox. Mr.Phone on the bus was unsure what to do about John's deception, and was threatening vacating his apartment in retribution. (again, if you want to make yourself seem powerful and interesting, perhaps consider a loudspeaker conversation with a fictious real estate agent. stockbroker. porsche dealer.)
as i listened to him talk, i wondered what would happen if i just tapped him on the shoulder and offered my advice about what to do in his situation. "i think you and john need to sit down and talk this out." i imagined myself saying, "go for indian. make a night of it."
after all, shouldn't Mr.Phone welcome input from the public forum? or would he get all huffy and insist that he was in a private conversation and that i was a snooping bitch?
he got off the bus (still talking) in front of the head shop. i didn't look back. but i think next time, i might offer my $0.02 worth.
u/v
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