learnings for the day

today i learned two things:

1) i desperately need some lessons in acting for the camera
2) always, always wear sunscreen.

i am writing to you from beyond the taught sheath of sunburn, a sunburn i acquired after a mere hour under the assault of the earth's main star. the sun, when he's at home. i spent my time doing a short independent film, in which i had one line and was doing as a favour to a friend.

film is fascinating and confounding to me-- the actors are more like props, and there are the mechanics of keeping every take physically the same, while maintaining some level of spontaneity. i always feel stiff, awkward, like when you're on stage and notice the eye of the reviewer or a random audience member firmly zeroed in on you. i try to hard to seem natural. or i feel insecure next to the tiny size 0 girl with impossibly huge breasts who's playing the love interest. i, godzilla to her godzookie am dimly aware of the fact that i shouldn't care about impressing people i've never met and will likely never see again.

that, and the hangover from all the gin i drank last night. a different story, a story where j and i almost ended up in an altercation with skinheads at the birthday party of a friend. in a bar with a german name and blasting reggae music, we almost met our doom.

and the sunburn-- well, that's a curse i have to live with every summer. i don't know how long vitamin e cream stays good, i'm wondering if i'm going to come down with some dire skin condition from smearing it on my face every few minutes.

the good news is that bedlam is in fact doing a show in april, and i have been commissioned (in a way) to write some of the shorts. with that, the tour, and the reading in calgary in the fall, i can finally say with some confidence that i have a "season" ahead of me.

but will people like me? will they really, really like me?

that's the question of the day.

u/v

ps- when in doubt for a birthday gift, the New and Improved Fart Machine is a smashing success. particularly with the remote control feature.