well, it's official: the new "Holiday Spiced Pepsi" makes an excellent keyboard cleaner! i discovered this after Smudge knocked over J's glass of said beverage all over the computer. much panic ensued, but my keyboard has never been cleaner, or shinier. seriously, i think this is the stuff that the Dudes At Dell use in the factory.
no ill effects so far, in any case: none of the more popular Wheel Of Fortune letters are sticking, but the true test will be when we get into the more exotic letters that are hardly ever used.
the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog's back.
nope, everything's coming up holiday spiced pepsi!
genius!
i've been looking for a blog i was reading with no success. it was hilarious. the last entry was a tragically true tale of a friend's b/f accidentally killing a pet hedgehog while in a drug-induced haze, and then the hedgehog's owner having to cremate the poor sucker on a hibachi or something. possibly while also in a drug-induced haze. seriously. but then i got distracted when she linked to the peterpan guy's page and i accidentally closed the window. so since then, i 've been wandering through pages of people's poetry, people's elegies to relationships, political manifestoes, cool skins, annoying trance music, and statements of purpose.
i have no statement of purpose.
unless, of course, you want to contact Pepsi and tell them how wicked their product is at cleaning keyboards. they could probably use the confidence boost, judging by the lack of self-esteem demonstrated on pepsi.com.
i went to the website to do just that, and was treated to a conversation with Lisa, the Pepsi World help center virtual representative. basically, you just type in your questions, and she answers them. obviously, Pepsi isn't just for cleaning your keyboards anymore: it's on the cutting edge of AI technologies. here's an excerpt of our interview:
u/v: how is it that your product is so awesome at cleaning my keyboard?
lisa: it is pretty neat, all right.
u/v: no, seriously, who came up with the idea?
lisa: oh yes... way!
u/v: what the hell are you talking about?
lisa: Oh, I'm sorry if my response did not meet your needs. Please narrow the subject down by rephrasing your question so that I can be of better help this time.
u/v: no problem, lisa... so what are you doing later?
lisa: I'm sorry, my schedule is booked 24/7. Besides, I'm a computer program, silly.
u/v: pretty darn clever, you little minx. give me free pepsi!
lisa: oh. ok.
u/v: not too bright, eh?
lisa: My name is Lisa and I'm a computer program designed to simulate a human customer service representative. People ask me tons of questions and I do my best to answer them. Oh, and the only place you will ever see me is on this site because I just love this place!
u/v: oh. ok.
and so you see, that's pretty much what our interview was like. i guess i'm not much of an investigative journalist. maybe next post i should do a hard-hitting story on askjeeves.com. dish the dirt and all that.
u/v
4 comments:
Dude. Pepsi's got Eliza working customer service. Totally rad.
And what's "holiday spiced Pepsi", anyhow? Is this some sort of new prairie innovation? I don't think I've seen it in stores near me. I've had "holiday spiced tea" before, which involved rose petals and cardamom. Similar? Or more like Pepsi mixed with eggnog?
perhaps you should go and suggest to "Lisa" the pepsi and eggnog idea... mmmmm creamy AND carbonated!
holiday spiced pepsi is actually not unpleasant, it's kind of reminiscent of dr. pepper, truth be told. it's pepsi with, uh, some secret spices in it, i'm guessing cinnamon and other "holiday" type things... mistletoe, elf toenails, holly, ivy, etc. pretty yummy. i'm thinking it would be especially yummy with rum added.
apparently it's not catching on, despite the fact that the 2L bottles come in a classy organza "gift bag"... it's marked down everywhere here. perhaps we can find you some when we head home for the... holidays!
i think h/s pepsi may just be a canadian or regional thing 'cause i haven't seen it in the grande pomme either. we do have wildly varied "sodas" here but no peanut butter big kit kat which i tried in toronto and to which i've become obsessed with finding. please tell me that peanut butter big kit kat are available in prairieville so when i go home i'll be able to partake in some chocolate goodness.
on a completely different topic...i saw a preview for the nbc christmas music special hosted by clay aiken. what the hell is up with his hair? it's looking like his hair stylist has been watching too many episodes of yu-gi-oh.
well, come to think of it, there has been a disproportionately high number of kitkat spinoffs hitting the market as of late. vanilla comes to mind, as does the ill-fated strawberry (ick ick ick). i'm sure that peanut butter is available here. if not, i'm flying back from pearson, so i will pick one up for you on my way home.
as for clay, well, when you're second best, you just have to try harder. clay is obviously concerned that he may be forgotten, as each subsequent Idol has a shorter and shorter half-life. so perhaps he's trying to have a memorable hairdo?
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