The Infinite Cat Project - Cats watching cats watching cats. It's a concept!
this is HILARIOUS. or sad. sad because i flipped through the first 30 or so pictures and was peeing my pants laughing at the cats.
if only i could take a picture of smudge and submit it for posterity.
speaking of smudge, i was making a costume today, and when smudge spotted the tiny safety pins i was using, he jumped up on the couch and started EATING them. eating them like they were the greatest treat ever. and then started biting me when i was trying to get him to spit them out.
so i think the cat ate some safety pins.
i called the vet, and they said not to worry. just to feed him to form a poo cushion around the pins.
but you can see why we might want to set up a pre-emptive memorial...
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eBay item 5566217149 (Ends 26-Mar-05 18:53:38 EST) - Haunted Possessed Disney Stitch Teddy Dangerous?
many thanks to Dr. Matt for bringing this to my attention... everyone should check this out, it's happening right in my own backyard, as it were. i can't help thinking that it bears a strange resemblance to the Stephen King story "The Monkey", but i supposed all possessed toys would have something in common. i know it's long, but it's worth it to read all the "updates". also, take a look at all the bidders' questions.
could this be true?
or could this be a way for me to make $300?
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 tore myself away from true hollywood story self-improvement to check up on my favourite cultural offering: reality tv shows, and i note that my new favourite, the WB's THE STARLET is going down for the 3rd time, no bubbles to be seen. this exciting rip-off of both The Apprentice and ANTM came in 114th out of 116th of ALL PRIME-TIME SHOWS airing during the week. think about that. ALL OF THEM. that includes a whole pile of shit that we have never heard of, stuff that you would assume no one would ever think to watch. and all that crap gave The Starlet the beating of its life. stuff like American Dream Derby. and JAG. even if they made a hilarious JAG spin-off about JAG's upstairs neighbor, it would have to get better ratings. and why? i mean, this show is like fontrum central. fontrum = the act of being embarrassed for someone who should be embarrassed for themselves but is not. fontrum can be found throughout the inhabited world, most frequently at live theatre, comedy clubs, and karaoke. see also: American Idol.have you ever seen the inevitable ANTM episode where all the models have to take "acting" lessons? well this is like that ALL THE TIME!! plus, it's not just some random dialogue you've never heard of... you get to see our contestants competing to give the best performance in scenes from "Smallville"! and "Fastlane!" and "A Cinderella Story"! feel the SIZZLE! and... the best part... it is hosted by Vivica A. Fox and FAYE DUNAWAY. what the hell?! like did someone steal her identity and embezzle all her money and ruin her credit so she desperately needed to take this show because she was also cracked on the head and developed amnesia and FORGOT SHE WAS AN OSCAR-WINNING ACTRESS? or has it all been to work towards encouraging young gals to become starlets... no, not stars, not artists, not actresses. boobs and hair, girls. that's it. ok, the VERY best part... is that when a girl get's kicked off the show... faye dunaway gets to say: "don't call us. we'll call you." i don't understand why more people don't want to watch this!!! u/v
so you see, my lovelies, i have not abandoned you without cause... i have finally finished that bastard of a play, and sent it off not only to the APC (a competition that i can only dream will pay me lots o $$$) but to a friend who works at the big house (uh, theatre not penitentiary) who requested it. so i'm feeling somewhat smug about the whole thing. plus all copies of all versions of the stupid thing are far from my sight. i don't have to see that piece of poo artistic achievement for another six months if i don't want to. blogs are depressing. not mine, which is just sad and neglected, but other blogs. check out the button in the top right-hand corner. go for it. hit "next blog". chances are you'll get some cool smart commentary, but you'll get way more people musing about suicide. or maybe i was just having a bad run. so i have to go watch american idol while eating mini-eggs read proust while nibbling on low-carb, vegan cuisine. my spine is... let's just say i think it's working for the enemy. we'll call it my spy-ne from now on. i'll be back to try and brighten the place up with some cool pictures though, seeing as i have a couple of days off with no money and nowhere to go... u/v
to anyone out there who actually reads this page and is disappointed/devastated/irritated/angered/enabled by the lack of posting as of late. my mysterious injury seems to have largely disappeared, meaning i can once again spend hours sitting at the computer, looking up "information" on the net. speaking of which, for those of you who don't read cnn.com, check this out: www.queryletters.blogspot.com ok, for whatever reason i can't get the old "link" button to work, and i'm too lazy to look up html for how to do it. yes, i'm a dork. but it won't kill ya to cut and paste. this weekend i am forcing myself to write. the deadline for a competition is on tuesday, i must be done this weekend. also, a certain organization i sit on the board of is having its agm in a couple of weeks... in the newsletter they send out to the members, i noted that i am not listed on the slate for the upcoming year. yes, i had to step down from my current position, but i had thought i was going to take on another position. massive typographical error, or are MORE SINISTER FORCES AT WORK? u/v
no matter what you do, no matter how you may let yourself go, never, EVER have one of the following happen to you:
1) never get a horribly crippling bladder infection
and
2) never rupture a disc in your spine
medical science cannot satisfactorily define which of these conditions have befallen me, but suffice it to say that this is my first day not flat on my back in agonizing pain since last tuesday. i did, however, get to take a ride in an ambulance with a paramedic who decided to try his little standup routine out on me. it was almost worth the morphine i received at my destination.
fortunately, i have been able to spend over 1 full week trapped on the living room futon watching television. and i have several observations to make. as i'm off to work, i'll just comment on the good folks at american idol.
this year, instead of just letting bad people sing a few lines and get cut off, the bad people are getting to sing entire songs. all the bad people. whole songs. so we can all have time to think up a few juicy comments before we watch simon and randy blatantly laugh in these peoples' faces.
not only that, but i have noted that overweight men don't seem to get the weight comments that even mildly chubby (or just the non size-0) girls get. i mean, should simon cowell be telling 16 year old girls that they are "fat" on television? and come to think of it, since randy had his much-publicized weight-loss surgery and paula had her even more publicized eating disorder, shouldn't one or both of them be standing up about this issue?
hey, i'm in the biz myself, i know that appearance is an issue. but i think that either everyone should get the fat comments, or no one should. why is it cool for reuben to be big, but kelly clarkson has to skinnify herself?
anyhoo, off to work for another fulfilling 4-hour shift.
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i remember in university, a girl i went to school with had a schtick, you know, how we all have our bits that we do, but hers was this hapless superhero called "MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS!!!" mostly he'd just kind of stride purposely into a room and state something... well... obvious.
the reason this comes to mind is that i was involved in making a short (read: 1 minute long) film this morning, which will theoretically be on Zed TV on CBC, for any Canadian viewers. and the director said something about people being able to view it on their cell phones/pda's. very hi-tech, very hip and happening with the youth culture, our CBC.
in any case, apart from lending my apartment for the interior locations (note: if anyone asks you to lend them your apartment for a film shoot, never do it. they will rearrange your furniture, traumatize your cat, and discover all sorts of embarrassing things like your boyfriend's multitude of candy wrappers, old christmas paper and the like when they move the couch.), i played the role of an innocent bystander who is inadvertently killed by a crumpled-up piece of paper thrown off a highrise balcony by a frustrated scriptwriter. this neccessarily involved numerous takes of me getting beaned with a paper ball, and hurling myself, unconscious, to the concrete.
for anyone unfamiliar with northern alberta, particularly this week's weather in northern alberta, today's temperatures reached a balmy high of -28C without the windchill. and so there we were, camera, boom, reflective silver disc-thingy, standing in the snow out front of my building, taking turns knocking me down with wadded up paper.
buses were slowing down. traffic was honking. oh, yeah. check out the big movie stars-- maybe they're filming a BRICK COMMERCIAL! there was a guy in yellow who would NOT GO AWAY. he kept asking questions. i think he even asked if we were making a porn. yeah, a really AWESOME FREAKING PORN MOVIE. it's called Polar Necrophiliacs 3:Flesh for Fantasy-- the action's just starting when i hit the ground!
so for one particular shot, the other actor had to run past my motionless body. this meant that i had to lie down on the (cold cold) sidewalk. no problem. it was actually fun. but we had to keep waiting while the general public walked by. so there i am, lying there, eyes closed, and this woman walks by. i just see her fur-covered boots, i have no idea what she looks like. but she says in this CLASSIC falsetto voice "must be cold!".
Must be cold.
cold?
MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS!!!
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you can read more here, but i'll quote the relevant bits. this is the advice that my financial institution directs me to when i ask them for guidance in paying back my massive student loans:
"Let's take a look at different approaches to paying back your student loan with the following examples:
Danielle and Gordon just graduated in the same class with a degree in engineering. They've both found jobs in their field with about the same salaries - just over $40,000. Each of them has approximately $16,000 in student loans, but they're managing their loan repayments in totally different ways.
Danielle plans to pay off the entire loan in four years, which means hefty monthly payments of $400. To fit these payments in her budget, she'll be living with a roommate in a small apartment and hold off any big purchases, like a car."
hmmm that seems plenty realistic to me. oh, except for the fact that if my entry-level job paid JUST OVER $40,000 a YEAR, i probably wouldn't be asking my bank for $%#&^* suggestions!!!
in the real world, the world where i've been paying the royal bank an amount equivalent to my rent each month for 4 years, their little online pamphlet might read something like this:
"uberviolet just graduated with a degree in theatre. since there are no jobs to be had in her industry, her first job out of school pays $8/hour, and she photocopies papers and takes abuse from screaming lawyers all day. uberviolet has approximately $30,000 in student loans, and the royal bank has suggested that she should investigate time travel and go back to 1994 and apply to engineering schools. in order to manage the non-negotiable $360 a month payments she must make for the next 9 years, uberviolet has decided to give up the following: brand name food, main courses not containing the name Ramen, new clothes, non-roommate living situations, any hope of having a credit card, a car, or owning property. grateful for her education, uberviolet accepts the crushing monthly payments, and the disdain of the Royal Bank Student Loan Centre customer service reps who suggest that she either take out a bank loan to pay her student loan, or sharply remind her that it is illegal for those with government student loans to declare bankruptcy. because obviously, someone who pays regularly for years and calls in to try to negotiate something less crushing must obviously be thinking of making a break for the sweet, sweet, credit-mashing 7 year relief of total bankruptcy."
Royal Bank, i salute you. i am confident that your net income for the year ended Oct. 31, 2004 of $2,839 million is going towards maintaining the level of customer service i have come to expect after years of dealing with you. after reading your 4th quarter revenues, i can understand that it must be vitally important to the Royal Bank machine for me to pay $331 a month and not the manageable $300 i requested.
thank you, Royal Bank, for making me realize what it truly is to be a part of something greater than myself.
thank you.
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