conquering the dutch

yes, it's finally happened. v at the Big House's request for a copy of the VermeerPlay has finally caused me to drag out the many volumes of drafts and notes and sit down to try and put a clean copy onto the hard drive of my computer. (the previous copy was erased in the horrible not-to-be-spoken-of Demagnetization2002) and needless to say i was procrastinating, even though i had set aside some alone time today, and the ever-soothing Radiohead was playing.

then, i realized that i was afraid of a stack of paper. not to mention a stack of paper that I WROTE. and since i think i'm a loser about 97% of the time, chances are i could very well have been a loser during the time i wrote the stack of paper. so odds are, there wasn't much to be afraid of. all i needed to do was quit waffling over "the best way to approach it" and just type the damn thing and if an idea occurred to me in the moment, then just put it in.

am i done?

no way in hell.

am i 4 scenes in?

you bet!

have i made changes already?

you know it.

will i finish a copy to give to the V-man?

i'm shooting for this week...



in other news...

our cable provider (after responding to my email inquiry that they had no plans to add this channel in the near future) has suddenly added Scream TV to the digital lineup, which i inadvertently discovered while flipping last night. all horror movies all the time? am i there!

and tonight's vegetarian experiment is:Peas, Potato and Eggplant Curry mmmm mmmm curry. Must finish my planned amount of scenes for today and then get to the grocery store to pick up spices.

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as i speak to the pompitous of love...

thanks for the suggestions, one and all...

when it came down to brass tacks, i elected to wear the following:

a black and silver skirt
a black cowboy shirt with red shiny buttons and red butterflies
some shiny silver uh... bobbles? on springs that you wear attached to a headband
the bobbles had long strings of tinsel hanging down from them.

what was i?

a space cowboy.

but some people call me maurice...

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in search of ideas...

if anyone actually still reads this i need some quick ideas for a costume for tomorrow. i believe we are expected to dress up at work. i noticed j has a big red flannel shirt, and my first thought was:

lumberjack vampire?

just a little makeup and we're on our way. does this sound acceptable? anyone else have any ideas?

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i make widows cry

i do.

today at work, i informed a recent widow that i would be unable to continue to send the phone bill to her deceased husband, as for legal purposes, we can only bill living people. i did put it in a more sensitive manner, but she became angry and tore a strip off of me and accused me personally of trying to make her life more difficult. i suppose of all the people who behaved like utter dicks to me today, i can sympathize with her.

in other news, i discovered a new subculture/fetish today...

go here but be warned: ye will see the mightiest and lowliest of creatures, put online for your judgement.

to bed now,

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a certain someone...

who shall remain nameless (one day i should just name names. or i should assign pictures to everyone i'm talking about. or mathematical symbols. Dr.Matt? is there a mathematical symbol specific enough to represent someone who is so jittery and frustrating and maddening as to be the world's worst caffeine addict and the world's worst pothead at the same time? pi isn't going to cut it, Dr. Matt.)

in any case, not pi suggested a meeting to plan a certain writing competition sponsored by a certain organization on whose board i sit. after which, he was incommunicado. i have a date, and a possible time, which has been agreed upon by other attendees. however, we can't really action anything without not pi, yet we have no idea if he's going to show up tonight.

maddening.

BENRIK LIMITED

BENRIK LIMITED

The new diary is out!

I want it SOOOOO much. I gave Dr. Matt a copy of last year's edition for Christmas, but who knows if he derived any benefit from it?

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everyone i talk to is a deadbeat

no, that's not an ironic title. today sucks at work. everyone i talk to is some kind of deadbeat. or a jerk. or a screamer. the list goes on.

in other news, i have to attend a board meeting of an arts advocacy association that i'm a member of... i sit on the board, for whatever prestige that may be worth. it seems that a certain artist is accusing us of being unsupportive of one particular format, but really insinuating that we are not supporting him in particular in his endeavours. he has written us an especially snooty and inflammatory letter that i wish i could post here, but have elected not to.

let's just say that he feels that special exceptions need to be made for him in particular because he is an important person, and the rest of us are not.

have i mentioned that artists can be jerks, too? oh yeah, big time. jerky jerk jerks.

speaking of which, i have another 1 1/2 hours of phones to answer. joy.

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blog this

can it really be so long since i've posted anything? am i a just a big loser unable to commit even to my online ramblings?

it's possible.

let's see, what can i add here to somehow redeem myself and yet still get to work on time...

we went and saw our kitten! she is black fading to gray around her tail. and she has white feet. i think we are calling her Smudge.

i went to see Gomez last weekend... it was weird being at a concert where i didn't know any of the songs (J's favourite band). good show, though. also, this guy who was COMPLETELY baked came and sat next to me... and pulled out a harmonica. now, there weren't any harmonicas being played on stage, or anywhere else in the crowd for that matter, and i am not sure i have ever seen such wildly inappropriate behaviour. at first we thought he was miming a harmonica (perhaps even more wildly inappropriate than what was actually going on), but then we heard the strains of Stoney jamming along with Gomez. and howling out song requests.

ok, my time is now up. work time now.

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When you've read the Geeks...

Table for one 

be sure to visit this site. hilarious. devious. dastardly.

decidedly delicious.

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Out, out, damned bot!

it seems like what shall hereafter be referred to as The Night of Many Scans and Swears is finally over. all thanks to the wonderful, (sob) wonderful information found at Majorgeeks.com (see below). it is my site of the day. it is my site of all days to come, as long as that freakin' about:blank virus (or whatever) doesn't come back. as long as i am popup free, i am free and clear.

yes, it is almost worth having 3 hours of sleep just to realize that the computer is no longer sick.

i guess J was mentioning it at work today, (what with his computer-herpes-type guilt from being such a compulsive ad-clicker) and the lady he was talking to said:

"oh yes, i heard there's a virus going around from microsoft."

to which J replied:

"um... well, i think there are a couple of different viruses, and besides--"

to which the crazy lady replied:

"yes, what you need to do is go to microsoft and download some anti-virus software."

if only it had been that easy to clean out all the crap.

i do like the idea of microsoft actually personally infecting its users with viruses and then offering them the antidote, though. the conspiracy theory part of my brain is racing to latch on to that idea, while the more rational part of my brain tells me to go make lemonade and watch the simpsons.

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The few, the proud, the Geeks. 

Say it ain't soy...

VegWeb - vegan/vegetarian recipes, personals and more

This is a terrific site that I happened upon today while seeking out a recipe that would allow me to create fettucine alfredo for the boy who can't have dairy. I'm going to try a recipe involving coconut milk and soy parm tomorrow after work - wish me luck! If this doesn't work, I'll not only have ruined a whole truckload of pasta, but I'll be on my way back to the store for more soy products to try, try again.

Lots of yummy looking stuff here, though. Check it out!

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the thrill is gone...

can i get a booooooooooooo for getting up for work at 5:30 am?

perhaps i should have taken the individually-spaced days off; two days in a row is just enough time for me to forget that i have a job to go back to, a job where people will yell things such as:

"i only got pages 1, 3 and 5 of my bill!"
"i don't care if it's been on my bill for the last six months, why didn't you check my bill for me?"

and so forth.

you see, and i do apologize if any of you have recently called in to bitch and moan at me, but the people i talk to, for the most part, aren't very bright. Stubborn? Yes. Loud? Blue-ribbon winning. Bright? Well...

My list is almost done. Yes, Sputnik 101 is almost ready to embark. I can't express how difficult it is to come up with 101 things that are worth listing down that i want to accomplish. I think i have something like 25 or 26 left to go. but i'm giving up for tonight.

as much as i hate to admit it, it's almost time for bed.

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and i feel fine...

how do you think the world will end?

i know there are all kinds of schools of thought on this one, most of them amazingly summarized here. (very entertaining and informative reading if you get a chance.)

but barring any mass plague, meteor impact, ice age, or disaster like that, assuming that we somehow escape the odds and the planet manages to last to the end of the universe, assuming we (or some form of we) are still here, what do you think will happen at the very end?

the universe, everything, is continually expanding, slowing, cooling. drifting. anything we can observe is completely ephemeral, in the long haul, as what we are observing eludes us and outdistances us like a ghost. the prevailing theories seem to suggest that one day, the whole thing will either be thrown into reverse (when the universe can expand no longer, the big crunch), or that quite the opposite, a Phantom Energy pulling at the outer reaches of the universe will increase in force, until galaxies, stars, planets, and even atoms themselves are torn apart in mass destruction. And then, there are those who say that neither of those things will happen, that the universe will continue to quietly expand forever, and earth will continue to exist, barring some kind of close encounter with a meteor or a black hole.

there are theories that suggest that all possible outcomes may happen, may have happened, in several times, in parallel dimensions. where every possible choice we could have made is being made. where the world is ending, has ended, is just beginning.

in these dimensions, these other times, these phantom lives, if they exist, the universe still continues to expand in its own time, with all its components drifting farther and farther apart. a yearning, rootless state, we are constant travellers all, satellites without orbit, forever trying to bring order to a world that slips through our grasp as quickly as we can attempt to comprehend it.

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give a little knit...

so with the previously mentioned $20 damage deposit awarded back to me for cleaning up the madam's shit, i recently purchased the most amazing book:

Stitch 'N Bitch: The Knitter's Handbook

run out and buy it. now. it proves that knitting is cool, and that you don't have to be relegated to making old-lady cardigans and berets in sensible colors (unless, of course, you want to). right now i'm working on the alien illusion scarf, which is coming along quite nicely.



a couple of nibbles about an old project have surfaced. the play i thought no one would buy has received interest from a most unlikely source. of course, i'm sure i've jinxed myself by even daring to mention it.

u/v

it makes the world go round

well, after putting it off forever, i've finally decided to bite the bullet and order my credit report from equifax. because as my bank told me, there may be information that needs correcting that would allow me to get my card increased. to finally be able to earn points towards the purchase of a new gm vehicle. to at last receive those 15 extra air miles per year, perhaps accumulating enough to fly my cadaver to a prime burial location by the time of my death.

i'm no financier, but imho, it could also be the massive student loan i'm currently paying that mucks things up.

yes, the mail holds many wondrous things as of late. for instance, due to the mess left by my former roommate, the amount of damage deposit i received back was a bank-blowing $21.73. correction: she and i each received $21.73.

no justice. absolutely no justice in this world.

ain't nothing like the real thing...

an interesting question has come to my attention...

blogs: distraction or 'real' writing?

i freely admit that this is more scrapbook of random observations and images than it is the next Long Day's Journey, but i have to say this amuses me. it keeps the words coming. to the point that my editor can jump for joy (well, perhaps just do some lunges in preparation for upcoming jumps), that i've actually started a draft of that article i've been promising him.

dare i say, when perusing my notes for said article, i even discovered some notes and a preliminary draft of my next play. and while i got stuck, i shopped around various sites online and realized there was a theatre company up here i have a contact with who may be interested in most recently produced blah blah blah.

the point being, i think i've just been in a holding pattern for the longest time. i'm used to being prolific, inspired, acclaimed, all those obnoxious things. instead i've been in the pit.

i guess this blog wouldn't qualify as literature. but it keeps things flowing. i'm quite proud of it, actually. i'm amazed at the terrific writers i read on blogger who keep their own sites. i want to be like them as much as i want to be like Wes Andersen or Charlie Kaufman or F. Scott Fitzgerald, or Jason Sherman or Morris Panych, etc., etc., etc.

a random search of eBay for "the real thing" brings up these 3 Kangaroo Scrotum Coin Purses for your perusal.

a random brain search brought this entry. and a note to self to treat all my writing like the real thing, paid, unpaid, produced, spec, or even these silly captions and whimsies.

u/v

been around the block

this post is dedicated to NKOTB. wherever you are, we salute you.



in fact, i'd like to salute the many, many blocks in the world, from Alphabet to New Kids on The. Chopping blocks, city blocks, hat blocks, mental blocks, and most importantly, WRITER'S BLOCK.

yes, i've progressed to reading about writer's block, and now, at this juncture, i am now apparently writing about it. or at least mentioning it. it all boils down to this: either i have no ideas and never will, or i am somehow so bound by perfectionism that i am paralzyed at the sight of a computer screen.

unless, i suppose, when it comes to pasting pictures in front of silly topics. that, i seem to be able to sporadically do. so, does this count?

let's say this counts.

in that case, the conclusion i have drawn about reading about writer's block is that while it may be comforting to realize that other people feel like this, these articles are generally filled with cheery admonitions to feel good about yourself, and to gosh darn it, just get out there and write! now, maybe i'm just not a gosh darn it cheery kind of person, but this stuff just depresses me even more.

so that's when the comparisons begin. oh my, yes. between me and all the other writers and screenwriters i love. and then the pity party really kicks into full gear.

and then i turn on Oprah and see that she is giving away new cars to each and every person in her studio audience today. and i realize that the answer is really quite simple.

there is no justice in this world. none whatsoever.

and that should just about clear things up.

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the big sleep

it is only 9:44 pm and i am about to crash. this i blame solely on the neccessity of my having to get up at 5:30 every morning to go to work. my head is pounding, my vision is blurring. the half-assed yoga i did to refresh myself when i got home this afternoon seems like a ridiculous folly as stiffness begins to set in to these old bones.

a situation has come up. or rather, a situation is continuing to press itself upon my life. it poses the question: is it wrong to hold a grudge?

grudge: 'gr&j
to be unwilling to give or admit : give or allow reluctantly or resentfully

yes, the mysteriously messy madame x has returned from abroad, seemingly without knowledge or understanding of why taking 51 bags of her garbage out of an apartment, including the contents of a very mold-ensconced fridge, would cause me to be slightly frosty towards her.

i realize that rather than bitching about it to nobody in this blog, i should either confront the subject with her, or forget about her and move on with my life. instead, we had a rather terse, passive-aggressive conversation which ignored the issue on the surface, yet left the ending wide open for a more action-packed sequel.

would i be a bad buddhist to hold a grudge?

don't answer that.

but i really, really, really hated that garbage.

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the crack of dawn

well, i can't believe i managed to get up at the eye-shattering hour of 5:35 am to go to work. i have a mere 6 minutes to spare before i must head out the door and to the bus to avoid being late for my 7am shift.

it's snowing here. for some reason winter has come overnight. yesterday everyone said "it won't stick if it does snow". it seems to be sticking pretty well. or else it's just an early september blizzard which will lead to mid-september flooding.

perhaps i'm just grouchy because of the early hour, or because i haven't finished unpacking, specifically, i haven't finished unpacking my shoes, so i'm off to work in extremely inappropriate footwear, considering the circumstances.



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