learning something new every day

so here i am, up in the middle of the night, trying to determine if time of day has something to do with when i'm at my best with creating. naturally, the temptation to use the internet (damn you, myspace!) overcame me almost immediately. and just randomly looking up subjects... for example... "writer's block" (totally at random, mind you), i stumbled upon a startling theory.
many people believe that writer's block does not in fact exist. all it is is the name we give to the inability to commit and make a decision.
naturally, this did not in any way seem familiar to me. lack of confidence? fear of not producing something perfect?
how could these possibly apply to my life?
yes, it's true. doing writing exercises has been feeling good and all, but i can't get PRODUCT out of my mind. reaching the finish line. moving on to something else.
so, it stands to reason, that i have a hard time getting started.
the fabulous Dr. Matt and i were once having a discussion about random numbers, specifically, the lottery. i argued that numbers i especially chose (my cat's birthday, my anniversary, etc.) would have LESS chance of being chosen, since these numbers had a specific significance to me, and what would the odds of that be? naturally, this influenced my strategy to always go with QuickPick. but, Dr. Matt eloquently argued, the numbers that the computer generated for me would immediately take on a special significance to me, as they were my lottery numbers. (am i getting this right?). hence, either sequence has an equal chance of being drawn.
this is how i feel about ideas... i'm trying to let something i don't care about sneak up on me, so i can get something out of the way and accomplish it. but, as soon as i have an idea, it immediately has a special significance to me. i care. perhaps because it could be my NEXT GREAT IDEA. perhaps it's because i feel like a slacker next to YOUNGER, MORE ACCOMPLISHED ARTISTS. perhaps i'm afraid of failure. or success. or all of the above.
bleah. sorry about the supah-emo whiny brain dump. but isn't that what the internet is for?